Weekenders In High School WIH: Freshman Year
by Harlequin2
Summary: SEASON FINALE IS UP. Tino, Tish, Carver and Lor begin Freshman Year of High school. New relationships blossom and the gang must deal with the slow loss of their youthful innocence. Note: Some stories in here are PG-ish, some are R-ish, be warned.
1. The Dance

Weekenders In High School (WIH): The Dance  
  
Note: As much as I'd like to I can't make this series go on the traditional FRIDAY, SATURDAY, SUNDAY format, because some of the stories have to take place in school. Sorry.  
  
(Grayed out background)  
  
TINO: Hey hey! Tino here! Well, the first day of high school starts tomorrow and guess who is SUPER psyched? If you guessed EVERYBODY but me. Ding ding ding.  
  
(Colored in background, Tino is hanging out at Carver's house with three of his friends. Bet you can't guess who!!!)  
  
CARVER: Man, high school is going to be so sweet. Some major changes will be MADE!  
  
TISH: How do you mean?  
  
CARVER: We'll be cool!!!  
  
LOR: Why, exactly? We weren't cool in 8th Grade, why would that suddenly change?  
  
CARVER: You're not using your head, Lor.  
  
TINO: Lor, not using her head. Get out.  
  
LOR: I hope that wasn't an insult.  
  
TINO: Keep hoping then. What's your big plan, Carver?  
  
CARVER: Look, we're not cool with the cool kids from our middle school. But THREE different middle schools are going to be at our high school, that's a whole group of cool kids who will not know us, and thus not know that we never used to be cool. I say we go in there Monday, and razzle-dazzle them.  
  
LOR: How, exactly?  
  
CARVER: NEW SHOWS!!!! Check'm (reveals some new shoes) Ultrahighpowertopdeluxes, out only four days! If you hurry now you can get to the store before it closes!  
  
TISH: Carver. how much did those cost?  
  
CARVER: I'm surprised at you Tish. Since when have you put MONEY before SHOES?  
  
TISH: Um. always.  
  
LOR: Look, your shoe plan is ridiculous anyways. You know who're cool in high school? Jocks! Let's be jocks!  
  
TISH: You're the only one who's good enough to enough to at sports to be a jock, and you're a girl, and girljocks would not be cool.  
  
LOR: Why not?  
  
TINO: Have you ever seen those magazines with the bodybuilder women on them?  
  
LOR: Oh yeah! Those women are scary!  
  
TINO: That's why they're not cool.  
  
CARVER: I don't think they're that scary, in fact. some of'em are kinda hot.  
  
TINO: Oh go. stare at your shoes. (Carver giggles and does so.)  
  
TISH: You seem to be in a bad mood, Tino. Anything wrong?  
  
TINO: Aren't you guys a little nervous? This is a BIG step going to high school.  
  
TISH: Yes, but I believe we're all mature enough to handle it.  
  
CARVER: Hey guys! Check it! When you run in these babies they make a hilarious squeakin' sound. (Does so)  
  
TISH: Oh yes. The old "Disprove what Tish said by some stupid antic" routine. Aren't we getting a little redundant?  
  
LOR: Not that redundant, usually I do the stupid antic.  
  
(SUNDAY NIGHT: TINO's house)  
  
MRS. TONITINI: Okay Tino. Dinner time.  
  
TINO: Wait a second. that actually looks good, so logic dictates it must taste bad or smell even worse.  
  
MRS. TONITINI: Relax, it's just pizza.  
  
TINO: PIZZA! Alright! (Takes a piece and bites into it, then stops) Wait, good food? Either you're pitying me or trying to make me feel guilty.  
  
MRS. TONITINI: The first one. I know you're nervous about high school.  
  
TINO: Well. yeah. It's just such a big change, and no one else seems to get that. they're just looking at the fun aspects.  
  
MRS. TONITINI: How DARE your friends be optimistic!  
  
TINO: I know!  
  
MRS. TONITINI: There are a lot of positive aspects of High School, lots of more activities and new people to meet! Did you know there's a dance on Friday?  
  
TINO: A what?  
  
MRS. TONITINI: A dance. It's a social function. in which people dance.  
  
TINO: Oh god. More to worry about.  
  
MRS. TONITINI: Well I think you should get to bed early, you do have a big day tomorrow.  
  
TINO: What?!? Go to bed EARLY? When I could stay up dwelling on negative things? Aww, come on Mom!  
  
(Monday Morning, TINO, CARVER and TISH are on the bus)  
  
CARVER: So what is your first class?  
  
TINO: Advanced English  
  
TISH: Advanced Biology  
  
CARVER: Man, I'm in Intermediate Algebra. What's after that?  
  
TINO: Advanced Algebra  
  
TISH: Advanced History.  
  
CARVER: Argh! Intermediate English. Third?  
  
TINO: French.  
  
TISH: French. oh hey! Tino! We're in the same French class!  
  
TINO: Alright! (they high five)  
  
TISH: What about you Carver?  
  
CARVER: CURSE YOU ESPANGOL! CURSE YOU! Here, let me see your schedules. (He grabs and looks at them.) Man, we got none of the same classes! This year's gonna suck! Why do you two have to be in Advanced? I'm just as advanced. (He hands the schedules back.)  
  
TINO: Wait. Carver. what're you talking about? We both have Gym 7th period man.  
  
CARVER: No we don't. Look, see you have Gym 7th and I have Gym 8th . Oh. I have it 7th too, I guess I counted lunch has two periods.  
  
TISH: Why?  
  
CARVER: 'Cause it's twice as important.  
  
TINO: Oh yeah. just as advanced. So, where's Lor?  
  
TISH: I told you last night Tino, she's coming in early for Track practice.  
  
TINO: Oh right.  
  
CARVER: Wait. what do you mean you "told him last night?" We didn't do anything last night.  
  
TISH: On the phone.  
  
CARVER: Why'd you guys talk on the phone?  
  
TINO: We talk on the phone everynight.  
  
CARVER: .Why?  
  
TISH: I don't know. Sometimes Tino and I have a lot to talk about. Don't you and Lor talk on the phone a lot?  
  
CARVER: No. But I guess that's because we're not in love.  
  
(TISH rolls her eyes and TINO suddenly gets very nervous)  
  
TINO: Hey! So how about cheese, eh? Isn't that. ya know. cool.  
  
(TISH and CARVER regard TINO suspiciously)  
  
(Lunch: TINO, CARVER, and LOR all grab their trays and sit down)  
  
TINO: Anybody seen Tish?  
  
LOR: I don't know, so then in Study Hall Thompson comes up to me and says "Hey Lor" and I'm so totally like "Yo!" and we talked the ENTIRE period 'cause I didn't have anything to study it being the first day and all and-  
  
TINO: EXCUSE ME? I REPEAT ANYBODY SEEN TISH?  
  
CARVER: Whoa! Relax, Tino. She has B Lunch remember? The rest of us have A, she's not in our lunch period.  
  
TINO: Well, why wasn't I informed of this? We should call the school board, tell them to move her to A!  
  
(CARVER and LOR stare)  
  
TINO: 'Cause. I mean. ya know. It must be hard for Tish. her friends being in A Lunch and stuff. so. anybody want my cheese?  
  
(CARVER and LOR look at each other and shrug and go back to normal conversation, yes, I know, kinda dumb of them to completely not be more suspicious of Tino, but this IS Carver and Lor we're talking about.)  
  
(Gym class)  
  
CARVER (dribbling a basketball): So, what about this dance situation? You got anybody in mind?  
  
TINO: Nah. I was thinking I'd probably just go with Tish. or Lor.. Ya know, I don't want it to be too datey.  
  
CARVER: That's cool.  
  
TINO: What about you?  
  
CARVER: Oh. I already got a date.  
  
TINO: You what?!? Who?!?  
  
CARVER: Oh! I didn't tell you! Well, you know Dixon's daughter Moira?  
  
TINO: Yeah.  
  
CARVER: Well she's a Sophmore here and she's in my Photography class so we were talking and I just asked her. Man, I had the hugest crush on her in middle school.  
  
TINO: Well good for you man... You found a date, I'm happy for ya!  
  
CARVER: You're jealous as hell, aren't you?  
  
TINO: Oh yeah. But don't worry, it's not because of Moira or anything.  
  
CARVER: Well I'd hope not. I mean, your Mom's boyfriend's daughter, isn't that incest?  
  
TINO: Man! Carver! How many times do I have to go over the defintion of incest with you?!?!  
  
(PERCY who has been walking by stops and looks at them after overhearing this.)  
  
CARVER (to PERCY): Yeah. so I'm fascinated with incest? What's so wrong with that?  
  
(MONDAY AFTER SCHOOL: TINO'S at his locker, LOR comes up to him.)  
  
LOR: Hey! Tino! Get this! Guess who just asked TISH to the dance? BLUKE!  
  
TINO: GET OUT! What did she say?  
  
LOR: She said she couldn't because she was already going with someone. but I mean, she obviously just made it up to get out of going with Bluke.  
  
TINO: Yeah, you're probably right.  
  
LOR: Did you hear Carver's going with Dixon's daughter, Moira?  
  
TINO: Yeah. Weird, huh?  
  
LOR: Definitely.  
  
(ENTER TISH)  
  
TISH: Hey guys.  
  
TINO: Hey, so Bluke asked you to the dance, eh?  
  
TISH: Yeah, I mean. even though he's Bluke. I do kinda feel bad for him.  
  
TINO: I don't blame you. So. ya know. Tish. I was thinking, why don't you and I just go to the dance together. ya know, so we can not have to worry about the whole dating thing.  
  
TISH: Oh. well. um. see. I'm already kinda going with someone.  
  
TINO: What? No you're not. You just said that because of Bluke.  
  
TISH: No..  
  
TINO: What?  
  
LOR: Wait, who're you going with?  
  
TISH: No. you guys'll be weird.  
  
TINO: Weird?.. Why. would. we. be. weird. Just tell us.  
  
TISH: I don't kno-  
  
TINO: TELL US!  
  
TISH: Oh, um. okay. it's. Colby..  
  
(LOR bursts out laughing and slowly TINO begins to chuckle)  
  
TISH: See. I told you guys would be weird, it's not that big of a deal..  
  
TINO: No, I just. I mean. I thought you were being serious at first, is all.  
  
TISH: What.?  
  
LOR: Well. I mean. C'mon. Colby? Has he like. ever talked to you. ever? It's just a little hard to believe.  
  
TISH: You think I'm lying?  
  
TINO: Well. not so much lying as..  
  
LOR: No. that is what it is.  
  
TISH: Look! Just because you all seem to think I'm a huge loser doesn't mean everyone else necessarily does. I'll seeya around. (She storms off passing CARVER)  
  
CARVER: Hey Tish..  
  
TISH: Go to Hades. (She leaves)  
  
CARVER: Hades?  
  
TINO: Greek hell. Even in swearing Tish is tishy.. (he sighs)  
  
CARVER: Well. what'd we do to piss off Tish now?  
  
LOR: Well. apparently Tish is going to the dance with Colby  
  
CARVER: OH SWEET MOTHER ABOVE! IS THIS INFORMATION ACCURATE?  
  
TINO: Um.  
  
CARVER: WE'RE IN! If she starts going out with Colby, she'll become popular, and WE'LL become popular by association!  
  
LOR: Well. I guess.  
  
CARVER: It strikes me as odd though that Colby wouldn't go with Bree?  
  
TINO: Well. aren't they cousins?  
  
CARVER: Oh yeah! So now that WOULD be in-  
  
TINO: WOULD YOU DROP THAT ALREADY?  
  
CARVER: Hmm. Colby's cool. Bree's cool. they're related.. It must be a cool GENE.  
  
TINO: What're we going to do? Tish can't go to the dance with COLBY!  
  
LOR: Why not?  
  
CARVER: My Dad was in the Marching Band in high school. I think that rules the whole Descartes family out.  
  
TINO: Because he's a JERK! What with the leaning and the mocking and the. leaning. I mean, how can Tish not see that?  
  
CARVER: Yet my Mom always talk to my sister about her old boyfriends, she's mentioned a lot of them.Maybe she was cool..  
  
LOR: I think Tish must have a reason for going with him, and I mean, if he's become nice enough to even consider someone like Tish, no offense to her, than maybe he's better than we think. Whoa. How much sense DO I make? OH YEAH!  
  
CARVER: But then would my un-cool Dad get together with my cool Mom. But hey! Tish is uncool and Colby's cool. So maybe it's an opposites attract kinda thing.  
  
TINO: Yeah. I guess. (he sighs) Oh well.  
  
CARVER: So if there's hope for Tish and my Dad, maybe there's hope for ME too! Thank you guys. You've helped a lot. I gotta go start acting UNcool. (He leaves)  
  
TINO: Lor, you don't have a date do you?  
  
LOR: No.  
  
TINO: Want to just go together?  
  
LOR: Yeah! That sounds great! God, everybody makes such a big deal about the dance thing. Don't worry, we'll have major fun! Cool!  
  
(ENTER THOMPSON OVERMAN)  
  
THOMPSON: Hey Lor!  
  
LOR: Gghdhnsh.  
  
THOMPSON: Hey, I was wondering. if you're not going with someone, do you want to go to the dance with me?  
  
LOR: Nnno!!! I'm not going with anyone! That would be so cool!  
  
THOMPSON: Want to get some pizza? A place called Mystic Pizza just opened up.  
  
LOR: I'm there. Later. um. blonde friend. (LOR and THOMPSON leave.)  
  
(TINO sighs.)  
  
(Tuesday, Lunch)  
  
CARVER: So, Tino, you only got a couple days left? Anything new in the "date" front?  
  
TINO: Well...  
  
LOR: Yeah, speaking of getting Pizza with Thompson Oberman, guess what I did last night?  
  
CARVER: Whoa! Really!  
  
LOR: Oh yeah! And then at the end of it he's like "Can I walk you home?" and I'm totally like "Sure!" and then when he was at the door he's like "So..." and I'm like "Yeah..." and he's like "Well... goodnight" and he kisses me ON THE LIPS!  
  
CARVER: YOU GO GIRLFRIEND! OH MY GOD! LOR! The first one of us to kiss someone! I always thought it'd be me!  
  
TINO: Yeah... um.... no.... nothing on the date front...  
  
CARVER: How long was it for?  
  
LOR: I don't know... Maybe 10 seconds?  
  
TINO: But you know what, I decided romance isn't even important... I have decided I could better serve the world without concentrating on all that.  
  
LOR: AND OH MY GOD! I was so scared that he was going to use his tongue or something, because I don't even know WHAT that's about, but I mean, it was fairly quick so that wasn't a problem, but like 6 of my brothers were looking out the window, so I was so totally embarassed but it was cool  
  
CARVER: Well, I've read up on the subject, and I think 10 seconds, no tongue, is pretty standard.  
  
TINO: Perhaps I could become a professional motivational speaker for loser kids who can't get dates and who's friends pay NO ATTENTION TO HIM!  
  
LOR: Did you say something blonde friend?  
  
CARVER: Okay, well, I'm going to go sit at Moira's table for a while, seeya in a bit.  
  
LOR: Oh yeah! And Thompson told me to meet him by the soda machines. Later days. (They both go)  
  
TINO: It's okay. friends are for wimps. I've got my sandwich.  
  
(A giggling red-haired, short girl walks up to Tino)  
  
GIGGLING, RED-HAIRED, SHORT, AND FAIRLY PRETTY GIRL: Um. Hi Tino. I was wondering if you'd want to go to the dance with me?  
  
TINO: Um. not to sound rude or anything. but who are you?  
  
GIGGLING, RED-HAIRED, SHORT AND FAIRLY PRETTY GIRL: Oh, I'm Tracy, I'm in your French class, remember?  
  
TINO: Oh! Um.. yeah. Well. sure.. I guess that'd be cool.  
  
TRACY: Okay! Great! Um. hehehe, I gotta go, I'll talk to you in French tomorrow.  
  
(GRAYED OUT BACKGROUND)  
  
TINO: ALRIGHT! I got a date with a GIRL!!!! Sure. I don't really know her. but I mean, that's what high school is all about, right? Getting to know new people? Plus, I mean, she's fairly pretty. in a giggling, red-haired, short girl kinda way.  
  
(TUESDAY AFTERNOON: MYSTIC PIZZA) [Note: Mystic Pizza is the name of a movie I've never seen before]  
  
PIZZA GUY: WOAH MAN! CHECK IT OUT! THIS PIZZA IS TOTALLY COSMIC! (Hands them the pizza)  
  
TINO: So, I got a date to the dance!  
  
CARVER: Good for you man.  
  
LOR: Score.  
  
TISH: Who is she?  
  
TINO: Oh it's that girl from our French class, Tracy.  
  
TISH: Oh. um. I think I know who you're talking about. Well. good for you.  
  
CARVER: Yeah! Well, I'm gonna go meet Moira and some of her sophmore friends. HA! How cool am I?  
  
TINO: Oh, I got to meet Tracy and some of her. freshman friends.  
  
TISH: Oh you're hanging out with her and her friends now?  
  
TINO: Why. jealous?  
  
TISH: .Um. I was talking to Carver.  
  
TINO: ...I know.  
  
(TUESDAY EARLY EVENING, TINO'S HOUSE. TINO watches TV, doorbell rings, TINO answers it)  
  
CARVER: Hey man. What're you doing here? . Moira forgot she had an orthodontist appointment and so I had nothing to do and was just going to drop off that basketball you lent me, but did you have plans with that Tracy girl?  
  
TINO: No, I've only talked to her once, and that was when she asked me to the dance.  
  
CARVER: Why'd you lie.?  
  
TINO: Because I wanted to seem cooler in front of Tish.  
  
CARVER: Why in front of Tish?  
  
TINO: What? Oh. we haven't gotten that far yet. Um, I like Tish.  
  
CARVER: Oh! I see. Well. best of luck with that.  
  
TINO: What. aren't you going to give me advice?  
  
CARVER: I'm CARVER, remember? CARVER? I'm the one who always NEEDS the advice not the one who GIVES it. I generally can just provide you with some overdrama. so the best I can give you on the Tish going with someone else is "CURSE YOU COLBY! CURSE YOU!" (pause) EEK! I JUST CURSED A COOL KID! (SCREAMS) I TAKE IT BACK! I TAKE IT BACK! SMITE ME NOT, COOLNESS! SMITE ME NOT! (He runs screaming from the house.)  
  
TINO: Er. thanks for stopping by.  
  
(FRIDAY AFTERNOON, TINO is pacing around the family room area while MRS. TONITINI watches)  
  
TINO'S MOM: So, Tino. I have a question.  
  
TINO: Mom, I'm beside myself with panic and drowning in my own sweat and you add to it by beginning an interrogation.  
  
TINO'S MOM: Well. It's just. You've never had a male influence in your life. if you'd like to refer to your father as a male, I think it's more correct to classify him as a stupid pile of st-  
  
TINO: Uh. Mom? I believe you're getting off your subject which more than likely will be some sort of sex talk which will be awkward for both of us in some comical fashion.  
  
TINO'S MOM: Yeah. So can I just assume you know what's right and what's wrong in this situation?  
  
TINO: Mom, believe me, nothing like THAT will happen. All I know about this girl is her name. (suddenly freezes) ...Stacy?.. .um.no, Tr-Tracy.. Sta. Oh dammit!  
  
TINO'S MOM: (sighs) Tracy.  
  
TINO: Yeah! Thanks mom. . See. I'm on top of things (DING DONG) Oh that's Carver, seeya mom. (TINO leaves, and then suddenly races back) Wait, Stacy or Tracy?  
  
TINO'S MOM: TRACY!  
  
TINO: I'd better write that down, seeya. (He leaves)  
  
TINO'S MOM: Love is in the air.  
  
(FRIDAY NIGHT, THE DANCE [FINALLY], There is music and the like, almost everybody is dancing [Our fearless heroes are past the, girls on one side, boys on the other, stage) CARVER and TINO enter, looking around for their dates)  
  
CARVER: Oh there's Moira! (MOIRA approaches them)  
  
MOIRA: Hey Carver! Oh, hi Tino. How're you?  
  
CARVER: Whoa, Moira. You don't look to good, are you feeling okay?  
  
MOIRA: Sorry, I feel a little nauseuous, just before I came here I overheard my Dad on the phone talking to his friend how he was glad to get me out of the house for a few hours because he hadn't been with his girlfriend in weeks, you know BEEN with her. Gross.  
  
CARVER: Yeah, that's sick.  
  
TINO: I know, adults shouldn't be. OH WAIT A SECOND! YOUR DAD IS. OH! GOD!!!! I have to go cut my ears off, excuse me. (He leaves and sees STACY. er. TRACY and runs up to her)  
  
TRACY: Oh! Hi Tino! (Giggles) How're you?  
  
TINO: Oh yeah, I'm good. Hey, have you seen Tish?  
  
TRACY: Tish?  
  
TINO: Oh. um. brunette. glasses. from our French class?  
  
TRACY: Um. I saw her dancing with that cool kid, why?  
  
TINO: Oh nothing. Hey, you thirsty? Let's get something to drink.  
  
TRACY: Well actually I wanted to da-  
  
TINO: C'mon! Punch is good. (He goes and gets a glass and sits down in his chair, his eyes peeled for TISH)  
  
(TEN MINUTES LATER, They're STILL sitting there, TRACY is looking less than pleased, BLUKE approaches)  
  
BLUKE: Excuse me, would you care to dance? I brought pudding.  
  
TRACY (turning to TINO): Were you planning on dancing at all?  
  
TINO: Wha.?  
  
TRACY (rolls her eyes): Yes, Bluke, I'd love to dance with you. (They get up and walk away.)  
  
TINO: Where IS she? I guess I'll ask if Lor or Carver have seen her. (Gets up and begins looking around, he sees CARVER making out with MOIRA) I guess he's seen her. and if my keen sense of practicality is correct then my guess is that Lor. (He sees LOR making out with THOMPSON) Yeeeeepppppp... (He sighs and sits back down his chair. he is joined shortly by.. TISH!!!)  
  
TISH: Hi Tino  
  
TINO: Oh! Tish! How're you?  
  
TISH: Been better.  
  
TINO: Where's Colby?  
  
TISH: Hopefully rotting in HADES.  
  
TINO: Again with the Hades (he laughs) Why so Anti-Colby?  
  
TISH: The jerk only took a dork like me because he thought that since I had never done anything with a guy I would be so desperate that I'd go anywhere with him. I should have known better than to trust Colby.  
  
TINO: I don't know that that's true. One of the great things about you Tish is that you're always willing to see the good people, even if the rest of us are too cynical too.  
  
TISH (smiles): Thanks Tino. That means a lot. Where's Tracy?  
  
TINO: It's Stacy. and I don't know where she is (he looks around) Oh, I don't believe it! She's making out WITH BLUKE.  
  
TISH (laughes): Even BLUKE ended up with someone tonight. Can I ask you a question?  
  
TINO: What the Hades, shoot.  
  
TISH: Why've you been acting so weird around me lately?  
  
TINO: I've been acting weird?  
  
TISH: Well yeah. a little bit. I think.  
  
TINO: Well it's just that.. Well. I don't know.  
  
TISH: Okay, I'm going to quit beating around the bush. Carver told me you liked me this morning.  
  
TINO: HE WHAT?  
  
TISH: C'mon, it's Carver, all I had to do is even hint that I might know a secret about him and he was all too willing to trade.  
  
TINO: Well. why did you even suspect Carver had a secret about me in order to hint that you might have one about Carver to get him to tell you?  
  
TISH: I believe there's probably a more grammatically correct way to word that.  
  
TINO: You know what I mean.  
  
TISH: Well. it wasn't so much that I expected that you liked me. I just sort of. hoped. you did. What with you asking me to the dance and all.  
  
TINO: So you wanted me to like you?  
  
TISH: Yes.  
  
TINO: So what exactly does that mean?  
  
TISH: I well. I. (she sighs) You know.. It's just that lately. when I around you. I feel sort of.  
  
TINO: .What?  
  
TISH: I just. I. (She stops suddenly and locks eyes with TINO, who locks eyes right back at her, slowly they kiss for a couple seconds and then stop, they continued looking at each other unknowing what to say and then.)  
  
LOR: TISH! C'mon! My mom's here we gotta go! (TINO gives a small smile, waves, and leaves)  
  
(Grayed out background)  
  
TINO: Yeah. I know. I sorta saw this coming too. Doesn't make it any less cool! [smiles] Later Days! Or. nights. or. just go. 


	2. Aftermath

AFTERMATH  
  
(SUNDAY AFTERNOON, LOR is at TISH'S house, sitting around)  
  
LOR: So Thompson and I were making out for like 5 whole minutes! It was soooooo cool. But luckily Carver noticed my Mom pulling up in the car and managed to break us apart before my Mom would have seen us, that would ha-  
  
TISH: I kissed Tino.  
  
(loooooong pause)  
  
LOR: You. what?  
  
TISH: Kissed. Tino.  
  
LOR: You kissed TINO?  
  
TISH: Yeah.  
  
LOR: You kissed OUR FRIEND Tino?  
  
TISH: Yes.  
  
LOR: You kissed our friend Tino TONITINI?  
  
TISH: Yes!  
  
LOR: You k-  
  
TISH: THAT'S ENOUGH!  
  
LOR: .Why?  
  
TISH: Because. I. LIKE him.  
  
LOR: Oh.. Well that's a pretty good reason then. So. I mean, how long was it? What was it like? Did Tino totally suck at it?  
  
TISH: See, now why would you just ASSUME that Tino would not be good at that kind of thing?  
  
LOR: I don't know. I mean, come on, don't tell me you actually expected him to be a good kisser.  
  
TISH: Yeah true. but. I think he was, I mean, granted, I have no prior experience in which to back that up. but I enjoyed it.  
  
LOR: So wait, are you two like a *couple*?  
  
TISH: That's the thing. I don't know! I've been going through it in my mind and trying to see if that's a good idea, if that's really what's best for us.  
  
LOR: Well, I think you and I are going to have to sit down and have a long conversation about this.  
  
TISH: Agreed. I mean, this is the hugest thing ever.  
  
(CARVER'S house, TINO sits with CARVER eating a pizza)  
  
TINO: So I kissed Tish last night.  
  
CARVER: Tongue?  
  
TINO: Yeah.  
  
CARVER: Cool.  
  
(They continue eating their pizza.)  
  
(MONDAY morning, TINO is at the bus stop, LOR approaches him)  
  
LOR: Hey Tino!  
  
TINO: Hi. How're you?  
  
LOR: Great. You know, I never actually saw you on Saturday. How'd you make out at the dance?  
  
TINO: Haha. Make out. You're a riot.  
  
LOR: So, question for you Tino. Does this mean you and Tish are a couple?  
  
TINO: Oh. ya know. I haven't really thought about it.  
  
LOR: Well you'd better start thinking about it because Tish is certainly thinking about it. She doesn't seem to know what to do.  
  
TINO: Well I mean. I guess I'd want us to be a couple. but if Tish is just *thinking* about it. does that mean she has reasoning for NOT wanting to be a couple?  
  
LOR: Dude, yeah! There's a big reason. If you guys break up, you're friendship could be TOTALLY ruined.  
  
TINO: Well, who says we're going to break up?  
  
LOR: Look, most people don't have too many relationships with people that DON'T end. actually. I think you can only have like. one, technically.  
  
TINO: Well. you're right. now I don't know what to do.  
  
LOR: Glad I could help.  
  
TINO: Help? How did you help? You just made me more confused.  
  
LOR (sighs): No one appreciates me.  
  
(MONDAY morning, French Class, Tino nervously walks in and takes his seat next to Tish)  
  
TINO: H-hi.  
  
TISH: Oh hey Tino! How're you doing, buddy?  
  
TINO: Buddy? Since when do we call each other "buddy."  
  
TISH: Oh why not? I am just pointing out how you're my buddy and that we're friends. because. that's what we are. right?  
  
TINO: Well. I mean..  
  
TISH: Okay! Glad we're in agreement, now. shh. class is starting.  
  
TINO: .The teacher hasn't even come in yet. TISH: Désolé, je suis en mode français et adresserai seulement l'entretien en français et ne peux pas comprendre l'anglais. TINO: Tish... TISH: SHH! COPAIN! TINO: Urgh. I hate it when she's in "French Mode"  
  
(LUNCH, TINO sits with CARVER and LOR) TINO: She completely blew me off during French, except to make it perfectly clear we're friends. I don't understand why she's being like this. LOR: Yeah, she told me about it last period, she's just scared Tino, she's afraid it's not going to work out. CARVER: Well that's really stupid. Why stop a possibly great relationship from even starting just because you're scared that it'll stop! She's ending it because she fears it ending, that's ridiculous. LOR: Dude, it's not ridiculous. Right now, if they never really started going out then their friendship can possibly be salvaged. If they went out for a few months and THEN broke up, there'd be almost no hope! CARVER: She's doing some wishful thinking if she thinks by ending it now she's saving Tino from any anguish, I mean look at him! He's falling apart. TINO: Um. I kind of resent that. LOR: She shouldn't risk the friendship! CARVER: She should! LOR: Shouldn't! CARVER: Should! LOR: Shouldn't! CARVER: Should! TINO: Yeah. you guys are a GREAT help.  
  
(MONDAY night, TINO rings TISH'S doorbell) MR. KATSUFRAKIS: Oh well hello there young chum of Tish's. How are you, on this, the day of my great uncle's birthday? TINO: Oh. um. it's your great uncle's birthday? MR. KATSUFRAKIS: Yes! Come! Party with us, American-style! We have beans that are baked! TISH: Well. I actually just wanted too- (MR. KATSUFRAKIS grabs TINO'S arm and drags him inside to the living room where TISH, MRS. KATSUFRAKIS, and a variety of other PEOPLE are) GREAT UNCLE KATSUFRAKIS: Ooh! Ooh! More for our party! TINO: I actually didn't mean too. MAILMAN: Don't bother arguing with them kid, you're stuck here for the duration of the party. GARBAGE MAN: You said it. TISH: Tino? What're you doing here? TINO: Um, Tish, can I talk to you for a second? TISH (sighs): Alright (They go off into her room.) TINO: Look Tish, I know you've been worried about the repercussions of our kiss and what we should do now. TISH: Uh. um. Je m'appelle Petratishkovna. TINO: Tish! TISH: Oh. alright. I am. I mean, you're one of my best friends. I'm just. scared. TINO: Scared? Of what? When have I ever been someone you've been scared of? When have you ever been with me that you've not been comfortable with me? TISH: It's not that. but. I just. I don't want to lose you. TINO: Maybe not. but what's the use of not losing something you don't even have? TISH: Just. promise me that this will work out, promise me that you won't leave me. TINO: Tish. I can't promise that. But what I can promise is that right now, at this moment, that's the last thing I'd ever want to do. Tish. I love you.  
  
TISH: And doesn't that scare you? We're so young. there's no way this could work out. it wouldn't make sense. TINO: Well. some of the best things in life. don't make sense. (TISH fidgets for a second) TISH: Okay. I. feel the same way as you do. but. I don't want to say. those words. okay? TINO: Aww. you're so sweet. TISH: Tino, this is all very new to me! TINO: It's new to me too! But I don't think it's right to lie to myself, or too the world. Watch (Opens the door) I LOVE TISH KATSUFRAKIS! MRS. KATSUFRAKIS (clapping): YAY! HAPPY! HAPPY! MAILMAN: Good for you, kid. TISH (laughing): Tino! I can't believe you did that! TINO: Well.? TISH: I love you too, Tino. (They hug)  
  
[Author's Notes: Yeah, it was a short one, but there was some loose-ends to tie up from the first one, in reality this probably should have been part of the The Dance, but I wanted to leave The Dance with them kissing.] 


	3. Brains of the Operation

(FRIDAY Afternoon, PATRIOTIC PIZZA: TINO, CARVER, TISH, and LOR sit around the table, Pizza Man in revolutionary war attire approaches them)  
  
PIZZA MAN: Give me liberty! Or give me your order!  
  
CARVER: A pepperoni pizza.  
  
TISH: No pepperoni on my part. (PIZZA MAN nods and walks away) Okay guys, I meant to ask you. Tomorrow I'm taking this IQ test and I was wondering if you guys could take it with me?  
  
LOR: Haven't you taken like a dozen IQ tests?  
  
TISH: Well those were just tests I found online, there's no guarantee those are accurate. This is like a real official one, and. It's a little daunting.  
  
TINO: Why would it be daunting, sweetie?  
  
TISH: Sweetie?  
  
TINO: That was my attempt at a pet name. No good? How about. sugar?  
  
TISH: Worse. (PIZZA MAN approaches)  
  
PIZZA MAN: With libercheese and crustice for all. (He sets the pizza down and leaves)  
  
CARVER: Libercheese? That guy's really running out of ideas, isn't he?  
  
TINO: Look, my point is you know you're smart. I don't even know why you take these anyways, they don't really matter. They just mess with your head, either making you egotistical if the result is high or with no confidence if the result is low. I've never wanted to take one.  
  
CARVER: Me neither. Intellect's not so important, we live in a society that judges people on their appearances anyway. That's why I'm set for life.  
  
LOR: You got a pepperoni stuck to your face, dude..  
  
CARVER: .I know.  
  
(SATURDAY, IQ testing facility)  
  
MR. DIMANCHE: Hello happy young people. You're here to take an IQ test, I presume?  
  
TISH: Hi Mr. Dimanche. I'm Tish Katsufrakis, we spoke on the phone.  
  
MR. DIMANCHE: Ah yes! Of course!  
  
TISH: There are my friends Tino Tonitini, Lora McQuarrie and Carver Descartes.  
  
MR. DIMANCHE: Greetings happy young people! Well just this way, you'll have to take the IQ test one in a time. Anyone want to go first.?  
  
CARVER: I will.  
  
MR. DIMANCHE: Okay, come this way. (CARVER is lead away)  
  
(FOUR HOURS LATER, Everyone has taken the test.)  
  
MR. DIMANCHE: Okay, I have the results, would you like me to read them aloud or just show you?  
  
TISH: Do you guys care?  
  
LOR, TINO, CARVER: No.  
  
TISH: Alright then just read'm out loud.  
  
MR. DIMANCHE: Okay. first. Carver Descartes. your IQ is. 99.  
  
CARVER: 99! ALRIGHT! That's practically perfect! Brains and beauty! Go me!  
  
MR. DIMANCHE: Um. actually that's not-  
  
TINO: Don't ruin it for him he's happier this way.  
  
MR. DIMANCHE: Okay. now um.. Lora McQuarrie. 104.  
  
LOR: Cool.  
  
CARVER: Wait, WHAT? How'd she get more than 100%? I didn't see any extra credit!  
  
MR. DIMANCHE: Um. Tish Katsufrakis. 141.  
  
LOR: Whoa! That's great!  
  
MR. DIMANCHE: Great? It's practically genius!  
  
TISH: Wow! That was better than all my IQ test scores online. Aww, thanks for supporting me guys.  
  
TINO: No problem, we knew you could do it.  
  
MR. DIMANCHE: And Tino Tonitini. 158.  
  
EVERYBODY: WHAT?!?!  
  
(SUNDAY MORNING, TISH'S HOUSE, LOR sits with TISH)  
  
TISH: Tino's smarter than me? How can he be smarter than me?  
  
LOR: I guess it's not that surprising. I mean. he's always right in any real-life situation, even if he isn't rockin' the GPA like you.  
  
TISH: I just can't understand this! All my life, in any situation I've been the brain. and suddenly I'm not the brain. God, Tino's the leader, isn't that enough?  
  
LOR: I don't think he's trying to outdo you. It's not really his *fault* he's smarter than you, he just. is. You know. I think on some level Tino already knew he was smarter than you, I mean. he was very unwilling to take that test, and it was you who pushed us to do it.  
  
TISH: Urgh! Lor! That's not what you're supposed to be saying, you're SUPPOSED to say "You're right Tish, Tino is just trying to usurp your role as the brain, the bastard."  
  
LOR: But that's not what he's doing!  
  
TISH: Yeah. okay. It's time for you to go.  
  
LOR: Fine, I'll go, but. look, Tish, you seem to have a pretty good thing starting with Tino. Don't blow it before it gets a chance to start.  
  
(LOR gets up and leaves, on her way out the door of the house she passes TINO walking up the sidewalk towards the house.)  
  
TINO: How is she?  
  
LOR: Nuttier than. a.. big. nut.  
  
TINO: She mad at me then?  
  
LOR: Oh yeah. It's so stupid. Well, you're Brain Boy, you talk to her.  
  
TINO: I'd refrain from calling me 'brain boy' in front of her.  
  
LOR: Right, well, Later Days.  
  
TINO: Yeah, Later Days. (HE knocks on the door, MRS. KATSUFRAKIS answers it.)  
  
MRS. KATSUFRAKIS: Oh! Boytoy of Tish, how be you?  
  
TINO: Boytoy?  
  
MRS. KATSUFRAKIS: I so happy for you peoples.  
  
TINO: BOYTOY?  
  
MRS. KATSUFRAKIS: Tish is innard oom.  
  
TINO: Um. you mean.. In her room?  
  
MRS. KATSUFRAKIS: Is what I say! (TINO goes up to TISH'S room)  
  
TINO: Um. Tish?  
  
TISH (trying to act happy): Oh! Hi honey! Question for you. Which do you think suits me best: The edgy, but well-meaning rebel OR the naïve and impulsive girl with a heart of gold, but has a lot to learn from the big smart leader that is you?  
  
TINO: What?  
  
TISH (more bitterly): Well, If I'm not the brain of the group I've got to be SOMETHING. I mean you've got leader and brain, Lor is the jock, Carver's the. well. he's Carver. And I guess I'm nothing. (She starts to cry)  
  
TINO: Tish! Will you stop being like this? I told you these tests are meaningless! You know something. and I'll be honest. I've always known I was more intelligent than you.  
  
TISH: HELLO! GIRL CRYING HERE!  
  
TINO: But I've also always thought of YOU as the brain.  
  
TISH: (stifling a sob) Me.? B-but why?  
  
TINO: Look, who has the highest GPA in the grade?  
  
TISH: ...Me.  
  
TINO: That's right! Do you know my GPA ranking?  
  
TISH: .What?  
  
TINO: 54th in the grade. Look, just because I'm smarter than you doesn't mean I put my intellect to as much use. You have a much stronger work ethic than I do, so. maybe I have a. better brain. the point is you USE yours better than I do. That's what counts. I could never be like you, because I don't have the drive too.  
  
TISH: (wiping away her tears) T-thanks Tino. That means a lot.  
  
TINO: I think that verbal diatribe was worth a kiss. (They slowly share a deep kiss)  
  
TISH: You know. I know I've caused most of the problems in the relationship thus far, but, y'know. I'm really a very good person.  
  
TINO (sincerely): Of course you are, Tish. you're smartest girl I know.  
  
[NOTE: I took some liberties by making Lor's real name Lora. I have no way to know that for sure, but it seems likely that it's Lora as that is a more common name. Plus I could see the tomboyish Lor shortening it. Oh well.] 


	4. Pointy Things

[NOTE: This is a heavy episode dealing with death. It also has no bearing on the plot line. So feel free not to read it if you don't want to, as I don't want to make anyone uncomfortable.]  
  
(SUNDAY, CARVER'S room, TINO, CARVER, and LOR are hanging around)  
  
CARVER: Guess what today is everybody?  
  
TINO: All Saint's Day?  
  
CARVER: .Wha?  
  
TINO: It is.  
  
CARVER: Oh well, I mean, It's November 1st man! I am just psyched for this month! I love November, for two key reasons. 1) It's got my birthday, and 2) It has an entire holiday devoted to eating!  
  
LOR: You get excited too easily.  
  
CARVER: Are you questioning the importance of my birthday and Thanksgiving?  
  
LOR: Noo.  
  
CARVER: Didn't think so.  
  
TINO: Hey, where's Tish?  
  
LOR: WHAT'S THE MATTER, ARE WE NOT GOOD ENOUGH? IS SHE ALL THAT MATTERS?  
  
TINO: Well.. I..  
  
LOR: Kidding.  
  
CARVER: I don't know. I called her same time I called you all, and she lives closer to me than any of you. (DING DONG can be heard in the distance) That'd be her, my Mom'll get it, I wonder why she's late. she's usually rather punctual.  
  
(Door opens to reveal TISH, standing there, looking pale and quite shaken)  
  
TINO: Tish.? Tish, what is it? (SHE sits down in a chair and stares at the ground.)  
  
LOR: Tish. seriously, what's up?  
  
TISH: .Frances died.  
  
CARVER: Frances as in. weird creepy Frances? (TISH nods)  
  
LOR: How?  
  
TISH: Well. apparently she had some mental problems. not just that she was crazy but actual brain injuries and she had a seizure and then slipped into a coma apparently. she died last night.  
  
TINO: How did you find out?  
  
TISH: Her mom is friends with my mom, her mom called right after you called Carver, right as I was on my way over.  
  
CARVER: Whoa. how is that possible? I mean. she was our age. people don't die at our age.  
  
TINO: Uh. Carver?  
  
CARVER: Well, yeah, I mean I know they do. but knowing someone who died so young. It's the kind of thing you figure would happen to someone else.  
  
TINO: Well. we're all someone else to. someone else.  
  
CARVER: I just can't believe this. It's scary.  
  
LOR: Whenever I hear about someone dying I always get so scared. you know. because I think about my own mortality and how I'm actually going to die one day.  
  
TISH: Well. I mean. when you die there's heaven, no big deal right.  
  
CARVER: You said it. (TINO fidgets uncomfortably) Something wrong, T?  
  
TINO: Well. the heaven thing.  
  
TISH: What?  
  
TINO: I just. I don't know if I believe in heaven. or God.  
  
(stunned silence)  
  
CARVER: What?  
  
TINO: Well, as far as I know my mom's always been atheist. so it's just kind of how I've been raised. I don't necessarily not believe in God. but it just seems a little hard to swallow. like Santa Claus.  
  
LOR: And doesn't that scare you? The fact that there's no God? I mean, sometimes I think about that too. And it freaks me out.  
  
CARVER: No way. there's a God in Heaven and that's the end of it.  
  
LOR: I'm just saying what if there's not. What if this is it. I mean. think of it this way. When you die. so does the world.  
  
TISH: How do you mean?  
  
LOR: I mean, the world only exists through our eyes, if there's no heaven. if we just cease to exist. then we're not around to see the world. and so it won't be around. So, essentially, when I die, you three will die too and so will everyone else. Just like for you, when you die, the rest of us will die too. Make sense?  
  
CARVER: No.  
  
TINO: I think I get what you're saying.  
  
TISH: I never thought of it like that before.  
  
CARVER: I get what you're saying. but it's all a moot point because there is a heaven.  
  
TINO: What makes you so sure?  
  
CARVER: Millions. nah. billions of people think there's a God in heaven, how likely is it that they are ALL wrong?  
  
TISH: You know Carver. For thousands of years people knew the Earth was flat.  
  
CARVER: So. What? NONE of you believe in God?  
  
TISH: No, I believe in God. I'm just saying other theories are possible.  
  
LOR: I don't know what I believe. I hate thinking about stuff like that.  
  
CARVER: Look, It's not complicated. There's God. his son's Jesus. they're watching over us and they rule heaven, it's that simple.  
  
TISH: Not necessarily. I mean, I do believe in God. but I'm Jewish, so I don't think Jesus was really anything. but a nice guy. I guess.  
  
CARVER: Lor, what're you?  
  
LOR: Catholic.  
  
CARVER: Tino?  
  
TINO: I think technically "Unitarian."  
  
CARVER: And I'm Baptist. All four of us are different religions, how crazy is that?  
  
TINO: I don't know if it's crazy.  
  
CARVER: Crazy enough that there's no real way we can have this discussion, our religious views get in the way.  
  
TISH: No offense, Carver, but your religious views seem to be only what your family has passed down to you. Tino, you too. Lor seems to be the only one who really questions what they have always "known."  
  
LOR: So. in a way I'm like Christopher Colombus, questioning if the world is really flat?  
  
TISH: Don't push it.  
  
CARVER: Why do we have to question it? Why can't what we've been taught be correct?  
  
TINO: I don't know if it can't be, but you should believe what you believe because you've considered it and actually believe it, not because you've been told "this is what you believe."  
  
CARVER: Look there has to be a God! There just has to be!  
  
TISH: Does there have to be, or do you just want there to be?  
  
CARVER: Tish, you're the only other one who believes in God, who's side are you on?  
  
LOR: Look, Carver, I'm not saying I don't believe in God, I mean I am Catholic. so officially it's what I believe. I'm just saying I want to consider things.  
  
CARVER: If God doesn't exist then what's the point of life, if what we do is just going to not matter, if the world will cease to exist when I die like Lor says.  
  
TINO: That's just how we'll perceive it. Logically of course the world will not die, and you just have to have faith and peace in the fact that any marks we have will still affect those who are still living. Sure we won't make sure of it, and be there to watch it. but that's what death is all about. It would appear to me that heaven was just created by people who fear death.  
  
LOR: Don't you fear it?  
  
TINO: Of course I do. Everyone does. People who say they don't are lying.  
  
CARVER: But I don't know how I could cope with that fear, without the knowledge of God's existence. I mean.. where can I turn for guidance?  
  
TISH: There's always. us.. I mean, I don't know about you, but I feel pretty comfortable with you guys if I'm able to have a conversation about all this. It's hard for me to talk about, and I don't think we need to solve this now. I don't think we CAN solve this now, but it's nice to know I have friends who have different vieew points, and maybe eventually I can find the answer that right for me.  
  
CARVER: Now I say we take a moment for Frances. and that she might find peace where she may be.  
  
[NOTE: Okay, in rereading this it seems I took a definite atheistic view here. That really wasn't what I was going for, as I myself am not really an atheist, I'm a Catholic with some questions, much like Lor.] 


	5. Seeing Things in Black and White

(THURSDAY, End-of-the-day, TINO walks with CARVER)  
  
CARVER: Ooh yeah! After tomorrow, school is out for Christmas break!  
  
TINO: Winter break.  
  
CARVER: Whatever. This is going to be sweet. it's like the LOOOONGEST weekend ever.  
  
TINO: Except for Summer.  
  
CARVER: Except for Summer.  
  
TINO: And it's actually equally as long as Spring Break.  
  
CARVER: Au contraire. There is exactly two extra days in Winter Break.  
  
TINO: I see you've given this some though.  
  
CARVER: Given thought to days off school? You better believe it!  
  
(MOIRA walks by)  
  
TINO: Hey Moira.  
  
MOIRA: Hi Tino, Hi Jackass.  
  
(SHE continues walking by)  
  
TINO: Whoa. what's with Moira calling you a jackass Carver?  
  
CARVER: Oh. Didn't I tell you? I broke up with her.  
  
TINO: You did?!? When?  
  
CARVER: A few days ago. I figured I'd've told you. I'm going out with someone else now.  
  
TINO: Oh who?  
  
CARVER: You know Christy?  
  
TINO: That girl that's always so mean to you?  
  
CARVER: No, no. That's Christie. This is Christy with a y. TINO: Oh. um. no, I don't know her.  
  
CARVER: Well she's hot. She's only a Freshman though, which doesn't help my status.  
  
TINO: Um. Carv. YOU'RE a Freshman.  
  
CARVER: Yeah, but I'm a cool freshman, now here's my problem. See, Moira was an average Sophmore, and Christy is a popular Freshman, so I'm not sure which is actually better for my status. All I know is I really like Christy.  
  
VOICE-FROM-BEHIND-THEM: Another white girl?  
  
(CARVER and TINO turn around to see GAVIN, a rather short black kid with a bunch of his friends.)  
  
CARVER: Excuse me?  
  
GAVIN: First you go out with Moira, a white girl, now you go out with Christy, another white girl. and all your friends are.. surprise surprise white.  
  
CARVER: Listen Gavin, I know you're an idiot, and I respect that, but if you could leave your racist comments to yourself, I'd appreciate it. Seeya. Let's go, T. (HE turns around.)  
  
GAVIN: Me? Racist? YOU'RE the one who likes white people better than black people.  
  
CARVER (turning back around): Look, you'd better back off man, I'm getting a little pissed here.  
  
GAVIN: Oh yeah. You know what, you're right. I'm probably ruining your rep right? You wouldn't want to be seen talking to a nigger now wouldja?  
  
CARVER: Listen you piece of-  
  
TINO: Whoa, whoa, guys. Look, Gavin, Carver does NOT like white people better than black people, alright? So why don't you just leave him alone okay?  
  
CARVER: No, I'm not going to have some moron talking shit about me?  
  
GAVIN: Oh what? I'm a moron for not hating my race?  
  
CARVER: Alright that's it!  
  
GAVIN: Oh you want to go? Fine. Tomorrow afternoon, Bahia Park, we'll see how fuckin' tough you are, you whitey-lovin' piece of shit. Let's go guys. (GAVIN and company walk away.) TINO: Man, what a loser.  
  
CARVER: You're telling me, next time I see that kid I swear to God I'm going to bust a capillary or something.  
  
TINO: Well, good thing Winter Break's coming up, that'll give you a long time to cool down, you won't see him for a while.  
  
CARVER: Yeah, I mean, after tomorrow afternoon I won't.  
  
TINO: ...What? Don't tell me you're actually going to fight him?  
  
CARVER: I'm not going to let someone talk shit about me and get away with it. Besides, I'll be okay, I'm bigger than he is.  
  
TINO: That's not the point Carver. Have you lost your mind? You never know what kind of crazy thing that guy might do at a fight. What if he brings a knife or something?  
  
CARVER: Oh. I didn't think of that.  
  
TINO: Don't tell me you're going to do this.  
  
CARVER: Look, Tino, I don't want to hear it right now. This is a matter of honor. I'm going home, I'll seeya tomorrow.  
  
(CARVER leaves TINO looking dumb-struck)  
  
(THURSDAY afternoon, TINO'S house)  
  
TISH: So what's up Tino? Why did you call this emergency meeting?  
  
LOR: Yeah, and why isn't Carver here?  
  
TINO: Look, today after school Carver got into an argument with Gavin because Gavin said Carver liked white people better than black people, and their going to get into a fight tomorrow afternoon, which is really dangerous, because you know how Gavin is.  
  
TISH: God, I can't believe Carver's being this stupid.  
  
LOR: Didn't you try to talk some sense into him?  
  
TINO: I tried! But he said it was a matter of "honor."  
  
LOR: Honor? What is he, a knight or something? ... Dude, that'd be cool. TINO: So, anyway, what're we going to do? He won't listen to reason.  
  
TISH: I think you need to go for the ace-in-the-hole, talk to your mom.  
  
TINO: Tish, are you nuts? This isn't some stupid 'Carver-won't-do-his- diorama' thing. This is serious! If I tell on him my Mom'll have to tell his Mom, and then Carver'd be in trouble, plus hate me.  
  
LOR: Look guys, maybe we should just have faith in Carver. I mean, we've known him for a long time, he's better than this.  
  
TINO: Yeah. I hope you're right.  
  
(FRIDAY, Lunch, TINO sits with LOR and CARVER)  
  
TINO: Hey, so, Carver, I hope you're cooled down from that fiasco with Gavin yesterday.  
  
CARVER: Yeah, I'm cooled, now my mind's focused on the fight, and with a level-head, I know I'll win it.  
  
LOR: So you're still going to do it?!?  
  
CARVER: Guys, would you just let me do this? He insulted me big time, and I can't forgive him for it, if I back down now my reputation will be ruined for life, plus I'll always have it hanging over my head. I'm sorry, this is the way it's going to be. Sorry. (He gets up and walks away)  
  
TINO: We can't let him do this.  
  
LOR: I know it.  
  
TINO: Someone's going to have to follow him to the park to make sure he doesn't go through with it.  
  
LOR: I know it.  
  
TINO: It's going to be me, isn't it?  
  
LOR: You know it.  
  
(FRIDAY AFTERNOON, Bahia Park, CARVER, backpack in tote is walking, TINO is trying to stealthily follow him)  
  
CARVER (setting down his backpack) : TINO! I know you're following me.  
  
TINO (setting down his) : Aw man, I really got to work on my spying skills.  
  
CARVER: Look T, you shouldn't be here. It's dangerous.  
  
TINO: Exactly why YOU shouldn't be here.  
  
(As they talk, another kid, RANDY, approaches them)  
  
RANDY: Yo, Carver, fight's been cancelled man.  
  
CARVER: Huh? What? Has Gavin chickened out?  
  
RANDY: No, his brother got shot in another fight this afternoon. Gavin's seeing him in the hospital. (HE leaves, there's a long pause of silence.)  
  
CARVER: Look, T, I know what you're going to say now, so don't even say it. I probably wouldn't even have gone through with it anyways.  
  
TINO: I knew you wouldn't. But just know this, if anyone is racist against black people. It's Gavin. See, he's got into his head that you're only a real black person if you get into gangs and fights and stuff like that, which both you and I know isn't so. It's a stereotype a lot of have got into our heads, and Gavin, though he's black himself, doesn't seem to be an exception.  
  
CARVER: Yeah. Look. Look, let's get some pizza or something. I'll get Lor, you get Tish. (He picks up a backpack and begins walking away.)  
  
TINO (grayed out background): Well, all's well that end's well. Well. not for Gavin's brother. well. you got what I mean. I just hope Carver's a little wiser now. (He glances down, and looks at the back pack) Hmmm. (He unzips it and looks through the stuff) Oh, you know what this isn't mine. CARVER, YOU FORGOT YOU-  
  
(He stops and slowly picks up a small gun that was in the backpack. he says nothing, and stares at it as it slowly fades to black.) 


	6. Mind Melder

MIND MELDER  
  
(FRIDAY, Pizza Place, TINO slowly walks in, and sees CARVER, TISH, and LOR sitting around the table)  
  
TISH: Hi, Tino! Carver was just telling us how he didn't go through with that fight with Gavin.  
  
TINO: Yeah. that's great. Isn't it. Um. Carver.. You left your backpack and took mine.  
  
(CARVER's eyes widened)  
  
CARVER: Oh. um. Thanks man. Here you go. (He hands TINO his backpack, upon receiving his CARVER begins to rummage through it, he then looks up and asks nervously) Uh. T. Did something fall out of this backpack?  
  
TINO: No.. why.. What's missing?  
  
CARVER: Oh.um. I can't find my Math book, but um, here it is. Nevermind. (TINO nods.)  
  
LOR: Um. okay.. So, what's everyone's plans for this Winter Break?  
  
TINO: Well Solstice is coming up really soon.  
  
LOR: Oh? When is that?  
  
TINO: .The Winter Solstice.  
  
LOR: Isn't that when you can balance an egg on it's end? (Long Silence) Okay. guess not.  
  
TINO: Well, the major thing I asked for this year was Mind Melders II. It is this awesome game!  
  
TISH: Cool, what's it about?  
  
TINO: .Blowing up people and stuff.  
  
TISH: Sounds *enthralling.*  
  
CARVER: Oh man! I've heard of that game, that is the most violent game EVER! You GOTTA let me play.  
  
TINO: Violent.. Ever.. Carver.. Play... NO! You can't play it Carver!  
  
CARVER: .Why not?  
  
TINO: Because I'm. greedy.. and.. I. want it all to myself.  
  
TISH: Tino, you're not greedy.  
  
LOR: Yeah, you're like the most generous guy we know.  
  
TINO: Shut up! I'm greedy! I mean, what other reason could I have for not wanting Carver to play a violent video game? NONE! I mean. yeah..  
  
CARVER: Um..  
  
LOR: Okay..  
  
TISH: Yeah.  
  
TINO: .. This is a long awkward silence. I don't do well in those. I pretty much keep talking and talking until they end. Silence is uncomofortable.. So I don't like it.. So I talk. and I talk.. And I talk...  
  
CARVER: Alright, shut up already! The video game thing is not a big deal.  
  
TINO: Okay.. Good..  
  
(longer silence)  
  
TINO: Yeah. okay.. I don't see anyway for this scene to get any less awkward.. So let's just move on.  
  
(SUNDAY, Solstice, TINO'S MOM wakes him up)  
  
TINO'S MOM: Hi honey! Wake up!  
  
TINO: 12 more minutes.  
  
TINO'S MOM: N- Wait, why'd you pick 12, why not like 10 or 15 something like that?  
  
TINO: I don't know, I'm tired, random numbers come to my head.. Urgh, you got me thinking, I'm up now.  
  
TINO'S MOM: Well, I have your solstice present!  
  
TINO: Oh cool! Is it Mind Melder?  
  
TINO'S MOM: Well. that puts me in a very awkward position. Say it wasn't Mind Melder and I have to say no, and then you're all disappointed, even if I feel it's a very nice gift that I put a lot of thought into.  
  
(Long pause)  
  
TINO'S MOM: Yes. it's Mind Melder.  
  
TINO: WOOHOO! (SHE hands him the game) I'm going to play it right now!  
  
TINO'S MOM: Not to sound too selfish. but do I have a gift?  
  
TINO: Huh? Oh yeah, it's the closet or something! WOOHOO! MIND MELDER 2! (He runs downstairs and puts it into his game system) Woohoo!! Okay, let's read the prologue: In the far reaches of space one man dares to. BLOW PEOPLE UP! Man, I love the intricate plot lines.  
  
(Enter CARVER, LOR, and TISH)  
  
TINO: Hey, what're you guys doing here?  
  
LOR: When are we not wherever you are?  
  
TINO: Good point.  
  
CARVER: So.. Is this the game you were so hyped over?  
  
TINO: Oh yes. Blowing up skulls like they've never been blown up before.  
  
TISH: What's the game called again?  
  
TINO: Mind Melder 2.  
  
TISH: And it's about blowing brains up?  
  
TINO: Indeed.  
  
TISH: And I don't suppose any of you are bothered by the fact that to Meld means to HEAL. Which means the game should be about HEALING minds not the OPPOSITE.  
  
LOR: It's a video game. Thinking's not condoned.  
  
CARVER: Personally, I'm more interested in the fact that the guy you control looks exactly like Tino.  
  
TINO: What?  
  
LOR: Oh my god! It does! Dude, that is totally you!  
  
TINO: Yeah. you know what. That is me.. WHOA.  
  
TISH: Interesting. so. let's go get some pizza.  
  
CARVER: I'm down.  
  
LOR: Ditto.  
  
TINO: Yeah, let me just finish up. (THEY all leave but TINO) Whoa.. He is so like me.. I almost feel like if I turn off the game I'll die too (he chuckles, the freezes) But. I mean. what if that game. is. an extension of me.. And if he dies.. OH I CAN'T RISK IT! Hmm.. If I just turn off the TV monitor. than the GAME is still playing. That should hold me through pizza. (HE leaves)  
  
(2:30 AM)  
  
TINO: Whew. this Zornon Zlayer guy his tough. If I fight him I'll probably lose. and that can't happen. maybe it says how to online though. I'll go check.  
  
(Suddenly the door is slammed open)  
  
TINO'S MOM: DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT TIME IT IS?  
  
TINO: Either way it's too early or late to be yelling, Mom.  
  
TINO'S MOM: Get to bed NOW and turn that thing OFF! TINO: Well. no. Mom. see. I can't do that! If I do, I'll die.  
  
(HIS MOM stares)  
  
TINO: Oh come on. It's one of my quirks. Just humor it. I'll just turn off the monitor on the TV and it's all good. Okay? Okay. (HE does so, then runs up to bed.)  
  
TINO'S MOM: Where did I go wrong?  
  
TINO (from upstairs) : I think with all the tofu.  
  
(NEXT DAY, TINO'S playing MIND MELDER [I think you saw that coming], CARVER comes over)  
  
CARVER: Hey T.  
  
TINO: Can't talk. must evade Deltrino Ultima.  
  
CARVER: Playing that game still? What level you at?  
  
TINO: Um. 56.  
  
CARVER: What? I was expecting one of those numbers. but not the two of them combined.  
  
TINO: The two of them combined would be 11.  
  
CARVER: Shut up, you know what I'm saying. What game even HAS 56 levels?  
  
TINO: The best darn game this side of Dr. Robotnik's Mean Bean Machine.  
  
CARVER: I don't see how you can have ever died and be at level 56.  
  
TINO: I haven't died. I've been punctilious.  
  
CARVER: What?  
  
TINO: It means "very careful."  
  
CARVER: Dude. way to tish.  
  
TINO: Huh?  
  
CARVER: Dude! Remember! Tishing! Man, that was catching on. Whatever happened to that? TINO: Look. I've been being so careful because I'm afraid if he (nods towards the TV dies) I'll die.  
  
CARVER: . I don't recall asking why you were being so careful.  
  
TINO: But weren't you going to?  
  
CARVER: Who am I? Tish? What do I care?  
  
TINO: So, I can continue with my crazy half-cocked fantasy?  
  
CARVER: Go right ahead.  
  
TINO: No one learned anything in this one did they?  
  
CARVER: Yeah they did [grayed out background]. don't play video games with YOU as a hero.  
  
TINO: Nice lesson.  
  
CARVER: Word.  
  
[Note: It was late and I was tired, I know it's horrible beyond belief, but in a weird way I really like it.] 


	7. Dulcimer of Time

(MONDAY, School Bus, TINO, TISH, CARVER and LOR all sit together)  
  
LOR: I'm psyched about Health this semester Tino, I haven't been in any classes with any of you so far this year.  
  
CARVER: Whoa. Health? T, I didn't know you had that last semester.  
  
TINO: .. I didn't.. Health is in place of Gym, and we had Gym together.  
  
CARVER: Why are you all switched?  
  
TISH: .We get new schedules for the new semester Carver.  
  
CARVER: WHAT?  
  
TISH: Carver! How cou-  
  
TINO: It's Carver. I'd just let it go.  
  
TISH: You're right.. Anyways, I personally am excited for Orchestra this semester.  
  
TINO: You're doing orchestra..? What instrument will you play?  
  
CARVER: HA! I know that one! The dulcimer! I'm right... right?  
  
TINO: I know that's what she's always played, but there is a regimented list of orchestra instruments in the orchestra, and I'm sure dulcimer isn't one of them.. Right Tish?  
  
(TISH is frozen)  
  
TINO: .Honey?  
  
TISH: .. I though the dulcimer would be fine.. What am I going to do?  
  
CARVER: (loudly) You could not always play the stupid-ass dulcimer (muttering) Don't worry, you'll think of something.  
  
(TISH, TINO and LOR stare)  
  
CARVER: Crap. I said the loud thing quiet and the quiet thing loud, didn't I?  
  
(MONDAY, Orchestra Class, Tish sits nervously in her seat)  
  
MR. OBOSKY: Okay. now. Petramishnovakoff Katoneintales? TISH: Uh.. Petratishkovna Katsufrakis.  
  
MR. OBOSKY: Yes. What is your instrument?  
  
TISH: Um.. Dulcimer.  
  
MR. OBOSKY: I'm sorry.  
  
TISH (clarifying): DULCIMER.  
  
MR. OBOSKY: No. I heard you. I'm just sorry. Dulcimer, while a charming little instrument in it's. *ahem* enigmatic way, is not a standard Orchestra instrument. You may use a violin, viola, cello or bass. That is all.  
  
TISH: But.  
  
MR. OBOSKY: No ARGUING! I have been a teacher here for 17 years! I've been a cellist for over 30 years! Why.. I'll never recall what the great Yo-Yo Ma said to me.. Well not to me, I read it in an article. he said, "Music is in my soul. To be doing anything else would be a cruel fate."  
  
TISH: . What does that have to do with anything?  
  
MR. OBOSKY: It means pick another instrument, Petriedish Catsopolus  
  
TISH: You didn't even TRY to pronounce.  
  
MR. OBOSKY: Clever girl. NEXT! Chloanina Montellado.. Oh god. how did you manage to stuff your head into that bass?  
  
(MONDAY afternoon, Mario Pizza, the gang's sitting)  
  
PIZZA GUY (jumping out of a green pipe) : It's-a me, a-Mario! I'm-a comin' to-a ask-a, your order?  
  
LOR: We'll have the um. Plumber Pie. with. three quarters. Yosheroni. and one quarter Toadstool Mushroom.  
  
PIZZA GUY: Capische. CARVER: I still say we should have gotten the Koopa Canoli.  
  
TINO: So, Tish, how went orchestra?  
  
TISH: HORRIBLE! This Mr. Obosky guy refuses to let me play the dulcimer. and mispronounced my name.  
  
TINO: He couldn't pronounce Petratishkovna Katsufrakis the first time? That BASTARD.  
  
TISH: Um. you're not allowed to be sarcastic towards me anymore. You lost that right when we went out.  
  
TINO: I'm sorry. that's my nature. I can't stop.  
  
TISH: Don't make me ground you.  
  
TINO: Fine.  
  
LOR: Dude. she can ground you?  
  
TINO: In some ways..  
  
LOR: What ways?  
  
(CARVER, TISH and TINO all stare at LOR)  
  
LOR: I have a feeling your staring is meant to make it clearer.. But it's not.  
  
TINO (rolling his eyes) : So what're you going to do Tish?  
  
TISH: I don't WANT to play another instrument. Although the ocarina has intrigued me. you guys won't know what is, either, I'm sure  
  
TINO and CARVER (simultaneously) : Ocarina- A small terra-cotta or plastic wind instrument with finger holes, a mouthpiece, and an elongated ovoid shape.  
  
TISH: Sure, mention the dulcimer: everyone's clueless; mention something out of a Zelda video game: suddenly everyone's a music expert.  
  
LOR: Well. even if you wanted to play the ocarina you couldn't. right? I mean, 'ocarina' isn't an orchestra option either.  
  
TISH: You're right. argh.. Maybe I should try the bass. or the viola.. I'll ask Mr. Higgenbothom at Strings N Things about it tonight. Will you guys come with me?  
  
CARVER: Well.. I would.. But I don't want to.  
  
TINO: I can't. I've got.spinal ... heel. shoulder. injuries.  
  
LOR: I'm just too damn lazy.  
  
TISH: Tino!  
  
TINO: But. Tish. going with you tonight will seriously conflict with my. lying around plans.  
  
TISH: Tino.  
  
TINO: Okay. fine. just don't ground me.  
  
LOR: OH!!!!! GROUND HIM! You mean you won't let him.. Oh, I get it!!  
  
(MONDAY NIGHT, Strings N Things, TISH and TINO enter)  
  
MR. HIGGENBOTHOM: Hello Tish, Hello Blonde Kid with Obvious Crush on Tish.  
  
TINO: Oh, we're dating now.  
  
MR. HIGGENBOTHOM: How splendid! What can I do for you, Tish?  
  
TISH: Well. I was thinking about switching from dulcimer to something else. possibly the viola?  
  
MR. HIGGENBOTHOM: Now, why would you want to do a dastardly thing like that? Violas. they're just so. conventional.  
  
TISH: Don't I know it! But dulcimers aren't allowed in the high school orchestra.  
  
MR. HIGGENBOTHOM: But you can't! You know what happened in the "The Story of the Girl who Switched Instruments," don't you?  
  
TISH: No.  
  
MR. HIGGENBOTHOM: Well.. She died.  
  
(TISH raises an eyebrow)  
  
MR. HIGGENBOTHOM: Okay, let me tell you a story. 40 years ago, back when I was living in Former Soviet Union, as a boy I was approached by a young Dr. Enid VonKoltschunzaff.  
  
TISH: The famed dulcimer-player?  
  
MR. HIGGENBOTHOM: Yes, that's right. At the time though. I was young, impetuous and I had no idea who Dr. VonKoltschunzaff was. So when she approached me I didn't think anything of it. And she sat me down and asked, "Do you love music?" And I nodded vigorously, for I did. And she replied "One day, will you play an instrument?" Again, I nodded. She said, "Good. good, young Wilhelm," Yes. I know, my name is Ludwig not Wilhelm, but she's a genius cut her some slack, "Now. one day you will be in a position where your high school only lets you play viola, violin, cello or bass, and so you will go into your local instrument story and ask to switch. But you must not!" And so I didn't!  
  
TINO: What? You expect people to buy that-  
  
TISH: Wow! Enid VonKoltschunzaff!  
  
MR. HIGGENBOTHOM: Yes. and, as you know, she died three years ago, and it was because of what she taught me, that I was able to play my dulcimer at her funeral concert.  
  
TINO: Who the hell has funeral concerts?  
  
TISH: Wow. Mr. Higgenbothom, you've opened my eyes. The dulcimer is what I love and I shouldn't change because of a stupid reason like that. Thank you. (SHE leaves)  
  
MR. HIGGENBOTHOM: Psst. Don't tell Tish, but I made that up.  
  
TINO: .That comment is beyond sarcasm.  
  
(TUESDAY, ORCHESTRA)  
  
MR. OBOSKY: So Miss Pentagon Katalini, have you picked a new instrument?  
  
TISH: No, Mr. Obosky, I have not. I play the dulcimer, and I am great at it. So take me, or leave me.  
  
MR. OBOSKY: Oh. I'm sorry. were you under the impression that I gave a damn? Fine, go. Somehow I'll manage to survive.  
  
TISH: Fine. and for the record. on the sheet music you handed out yesterday you labled that symbol as a treble cleft, it's a base cleft.  
  
MR. OBOSKY: Now listen here. Miss.. Sassypants.. No one insults the great Ernest Obosky and. doesn't get yelled at by me. YOU WILL NEVER PLAY AN INSTRUMENT.. IN MY CLASS.. AGAIN! (TISH storms out) I handled that well.. Gloey Montezepplin! How many times must I tell you, if you wouldn't put the pick there then it wouldn't GET stuck there!  
  
(TUESDAY, TINO's patio, TISH and TINO)  
  
TINO: You sure you're not bummed about not being in orchestra anymore?  
  
TISH: No, I'm okay. I discovered it's more important to be true to myself than stay in orchestra.  
  
TINO: Well. now that you dropped out, what're you going to do?  
  
TISH: I've decided to take study hall.  
  
TINO: B.but that's a non-academic class.  
  
TISH: Yeah. maybe it'll hurt my GPA. but oh well. I don't need to be perfect all the time.  
  
TINO: Wow. that's TWO morals in one sitting.  
  
TISH: Well we had to make up for that whole Mind Melder video fiasco thing, didn't we?  
  
TINO: Yeah. oh that reminds me. I've got to beat Level 484 tonight if I'm to finish the game by May.  
  
TISH: .You're kidding. right?  
  
TINO: One never can tell. 


	8. Valentine's Day Massacre

[FRIDAY, Lunch, TINO sits with CARVER and LOR]  
  
CARVER: Oh man, this has been sweet man! I've already gotten fourteen valentine's and the day is half over! Being single is really a sweet deal, you guys, you oughta try it.  
  
LOR: Single? Whoa. what happened to that Christy girl?  
  
CARVER: Christy? OH! Christy! We broke up at the beginning of the semester man, you got to get with it. The girl I got my eyes on right now is by the name of Latisha.  
  
TINO: Latisha, eh? Well, judging by the name my guess is that girl would meet with Gavin's approval.  
  
CARVER: No talk of assholes like that on Valentine's Day, Tino. So, Lor, what're your V-Day plans?  
  
LOR: Oh nothing too complicated, see Thompson says he doesn't like to get into the whole commercialization of Valentine's Day with a bunch of stupid flowers and chocolates, he says the holidays not about gifts and fanciness.  
  
TINO: Sounds like someone's cheap.  
  
LOR: Say that again and I'll staple your ass to your face!  
  
TINO: Ouch. touchy touchy.  
  
LOR: *Anyways* he thinks what Valentine's is really about is two people sharing a special connection and deep bond between them.  
  
CARVER: So your plan is.?  
  
LOR (giggling): We're going to fool around in the backseat of his car.  
  
TINO: And they say romance is dead.  
  
LOR: Aw well, I'm not the "flowers" kind girl anyways.  
  
CARVER: Well, what're your Valentine's Plans then, T?  
  
TINO: Well. something tells me that Tish is into the gifts and fanciness that Thompson and you are apparently way to sophisticated for.  
  
LOR: Sarcasm about the Thompson thing?  
  
TINO: It's hard to tell with me.  
  
LOR: Continue.  
  
TINO: Anyways, I got us reservations at Chez Saucisson.  
  
CARVER: Wow. () Impressive.  
  
TINO: I know. I really want to make tonight special because this is the first night Tish and I have been out together in a long time, what with her rehearsals for the musical and my.. Engagements.  
  
LOR: Dude, you can you're on the chess team, we already know.  
  
TINO: Right well, we haven't been on a date since mid-January and so I want everything to go perfectly right.  
  
LOR: Don't worry Tino, what could go wrong?  
  
TINO (angrily): Oh damn it, Lor! Just by saying 'what could go wrong?' you've ENSURED something will go wrong.  
  
LOR: What.?  
  
TINO: It's called irony! You know, like when you do something even remotely intelligent.  
  
CARVER: Oooh. that was below the belt.  
  
LOR: Tino. I can't believe you.  
  
TINO: Lor. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said anything.  
  
LOR: Shut up, Tino, I don't want to hear it. (LOR storms away.)  
  
TINO: *What* is her problem?  
  
CARVER: Well.  
  
TINO: Nah, forget it, I don't have time to worry about Lor, I'm trying to think of a rhyme for "invigorating" for the poem I'm writing for Tish.  
  
CARVER (sighs): Yeah, T, heaven forbid Lor and I rival your precious "Tishie-Poo"  
  
TINO: Carver, what're you- Wait. Tishie-Poo? HAVE YOU BEEN SPYING ON MY DATES!  
  
CARVER: Oh don't try to squirm your way out of trouble by calling attention to the fact that I'm a weird pervert. You're being a bad friend and you know it. I'll see you. (HE storms away.)  
  
(TINO stares in mild shock at what has just taken place. Seconds later, CARVER comes back)  
  
CARVER: And *Tishie-Poo* what are you, married?  
  
[FRIDAY, English Class, 1:13, TINO races through the door]  
  
TINO: Sorry I'm late Mrs. Cubbins! My locker wouldn't open, someone had jammed gum in the lock.  
  
MRS. CUBBINS: Well, that's warning number 1 for today, Tino, dear. And "When you get warnings 2."  
  
CLASS (dully): ".Detention, detention, happens to you."  
  
MRS. CUBBINS: Isn't that a delightful little rhyme? So, Tino, dear, make sure not to get another warning today.  
  
TINO: Don't you worry Mrs. Cubbins. I won't!  
  
MRS. CUBBINS: Good. Now sit down, and continue reading from 1984.  
  
TINO: Sure thing.  
  
(TINO sits down and begins reading, suddenly MRS. CUBBINS calls him up.)  
  
MRS. CUBBINS: Tino, come up here NOW!  
  
(Bemused, TINO walks up to her.)  
  
MRS. CUBBINS: Tino, I just found this note on my desk. Please tell me the meaning of it. It reads: Dear Mrs. Cubbins, I hate you, are a stupid old hag, signed Tino Tonitini.  
  
TINO: What?!? I didn't write that! (MRS. CUBBINS glared at him unbelievingly) I swear Mrs. Cubbins, I didn't! Why would I have? If I was going to write a letter saying you're a stupid old hag I wouldn't sign it with my OWN name! Not that I have any intention of writing such a letter.. But that doesn't even look like my own hand-writing. It's ridiculous.  
  
MRS. CUBBINS: Well. I won't report this to the principal, but I am giving you another warning. You have a detention!  
  
TINO: But Mrs. Cubbins you can't! If I have detention I won't get home until late, then I have to get ready for my date, and I'll probably be late! This is a very important date! Tish and I haven't gone out for a month and to celebrate she said she'd let me. (clears his throat) Okay. detention it is. (sits down in misery.)  
  
(FRIDAY, Gym Locker room, 2:58, TINO and CARVER are changing out of their Gym clothes)  
  
CARVER: So you didn't write the letter?  
  
TINO: Of course not! Why would I do something like that?  
  
CARVER: Well that's really gotta suck man.  
  
TINO: Don't I know it! By the time I get home it'll be 5:30, that leaves me an hour to get ready, get the roses I ordered for Tish, and be at Chez Saucisson. I'll be pressed, but I think I'll be okay.  
  
(They finish getting dressed and leave the gym, their last period.)  
  
CARVER: Bummer man, good luck with detention.  
  
TINO: Right.  
  
(HE waves bye to CARVER and walks to the detention room, and sits down. Soon after MR. OBOSKY enters)  
  
MR. OBOSKY: Hello you n'er-do-wells. I am the practice warden for when you rotten scoundrels are in prison, as well as orchestra teacher extrordinaire Mr. Obosky!  
  
KID IN DETENTION: Shut up you arrogant freak!  
  
MR. OBOSKY: I will not stand here and be insulted!  
  
ANOTHER KID IN DETENTION: Fine, stand somewhere else, we'll insult you there. (The majority of the class laughs)  
  
MR. OBOSKY: Listen, you future Charles Manson, I never forget an insult!  
  
YET ANOTHER KID IN DETENTION: Well then here's a few more for you to remember. You stupid, spineless, egotistical, snot-nosed jackass. (more laughs)  
  
MR. OBOSKY: THAT'S ENOUGH! THE NEXT PERSON TO MAKE A SOUND GETS 30 MINUTES MORE DETENTION!  
  
(Everyone gets quiet.)  
  
MR. OBOSKY: Hmm. that's what I THOUGHT! Now, begin working on your homework.  
  
(Minutes go by in silence, Tino clears his throat)  
  
MR. OBOSKY: That's it! 30 minutes more detention!  
  
TINO: WHAT?!? That's so unfair, I was just clearing my throat!  
  
MR. OBOSKY: That's enough out of you Mr. Sassypants. Speak again and you'll get ANOTHER 30 minutes!  
  
(Sulkilly, TINO buries his head in his arms)  
  
(FRIDAY, 5:45, TINO leaves the detention room)  
  
TINO: Damn it! I'm never going to be home in time! I need to call Tish. damn, but I forgot her number.  
  
(In his rush he passes LOR)  
  
TINO: Lor? What're you doing here?  
  
LOR: Just finished basketball practice. Whoa, what's up?  
  
TINO: I'm going to be super-late for my date with Tish, do you know her number?  
  
LOR: Yeah. It's 693-7026.  
  
TINO: Thanks a bunch! Well, seeya.  
  
(TINO waves by to LOR and runs to a pay phone, puts coins into the slots, and dials)  
  
TINO: Hello, is Tish there? .Oh this is the wrong number? Is this 693-7026? .Yes, I know this is the wrong number I just wan- Hello.? Hello? ARGH!!  
  
(HE dials again.)  
  
TINO: Hi, is Tish there? .Oh you again! Listen this is one dollar I just wasted, I just want to know if I dialed wrong or- Hello? DAMN!  
  
(TINO slams the phone down, and begins running home)  
  
(FRIDAY, TINO's Front Door, 6:04, TINO rushes up to the door, and pulls on it. It doesn't open.)  
  
TINO: Argh! [begins to furiously ring the doorbell] MOM? MOM!!!! Why isn't she home? Okay. that's fine, I'll just get the key from under the welcome tatami earth-friendly mat.  
  
[HE looks under the mat. no key. TINO lets fly a range of expletives.]  
  
TINO: God. I guess I'll just wait for Mom to get home.  
  
(FRIDAY, TINO's front door, 6:31, TINO'S MOM comes walking casually up to the front door.)  
  
TINO'S MOM: Oh hi honey. I just got back from Herbal day at the Community Center, it was quite fun.  
  
TINO: YOU NEVER MENTIONED ANYTHING ABOUT A FREAKIN' HERBAL DAY!  
  
TINO'S MOM: I found a free pass on the doorstep this afternoon, relax. Your karma is all out of whack.  
  
TINO: WHATEVER! JUST HURRY UP! I WAS SUPPOSED TO BE AT THE RESTAURANT ALREADY!  
  
[TINO'S MOM unlocks the door with her key and TINO goes flying into the house.]  
  
(FRIDAY, Duong's Flower Festivities, 6:41, TINO rushes in.)  
  
TINO: MRS DUONG! I HAVE AN ORDER FOR FLOWERS!  
  
MRS. DUONG: Oh hi Tino. But. your order was cancelled twenty minutes ago. I've given your order to somebody else.  
  
TINO: WHAT? WHO CANCELLED IT?  
  
MRS. DUONG: I'm not sure. it was someone else who took the cancellation.  
  
TINO: WELL I NEVER WANTED IT TO BE CANCELLED!  
  
MRS. DUONG: Okay, well calm down. I can still get your order of twelve peaseblossoms, it'll just take me a few moments.  
  
(SHE begins looking for the flowers, whilst TINO strums nervously on the counter.)  
  
MRS. DUONG: Ahh. here we are. That'll be 14.75.  
  
TINO: BUT I ALREADY PAID!  
  
MRS. DUONG: Yes, but your order was cancelled.  
  
TINO: Fine. [HE flings some money at her.]  
  
MRS. DUONG: Thank you, and please remember to join the Helper's Helping the Helpless annual-  
  
TINO: AHH! NO TIME!  
  
[HE rushes out the door and jumps into the car]  
  
TINO: DRIVE, MOTHER! DRIVE!  
  
(FRIDAY, FrankenPizza, LOR enters the pizza place and sits at CARVER'S table.)  
  
CARVER: Oh hey Lor. Don't you have a big make-out date with Thompson.  
  
LOR: Yeah, but that's not for another hour or so. I'm sure you have a date.  
  
CARVER: Yeah, two of'em, but that doesn't start for a while either. Man, did you hear about Tino? He's been having the worst luck.  
  
LOR (giggles): Oh yeah.. I heard.  
  
CARVER: Oh wait.. Don't tell me.  
  
LOR: Yep! It was me! I jammed gum in his locker, sent a mean note to his teacher from him, gave him the wrong number for Tish's phone, put a free pass to some Herbal thing Tino's Mom would like on her doorstep, removed the key from the mat and cancelled his flower reservation.  
  
CARVER: But. why?  
  
LOR: He called me stupid!  
  
CARVER: We all call you stupid all the time! That's your only reason?  
  
LOR: Yeah. well. it was fun too.  
  
CARVER: Okay, now I get it.  
  
(FRIDAY, Chez Saucisson, 6:50, TINO practically dives out of the car.)  
  
TINO: Okay. I'm here.. I'm a twenty minutes late. but I'm here. I hope Tish is not Now, where's Tish?  
  
(A car pulls up. TISH comes out of it, looking radiant.)  
  
TISH: Hey Tino. Sorry I'm late.  
  
TINO: Yeah. well.. You should be. I mean, I've been waiting here for TWENTY minutes. We've probably missed our reservation.  
  
TISH: Hmm. that place is pretentious anyway. Anyway I can make it up to you?  
  
TINO: I can think of a few ways.  
  
[Gray background.]  
  
TINO: Well. All's well that end's well. Later days! 


	9. Player Hater

(SATURDAY, 5:39 PM, CARVER'S front stoop, TINO rings the doorbell, CARVER answers the door, while on the phone.)  
  
TINO: Hey Carv, what's-  
  
[CARVER holds up his index finger to silence TINO  
  
CARVER: Oh I know.. I know.. Really, baby, you flatter me. No, I wouldn't do that with any other girl. Ha ha. Oh I love you too. Okay, bye.  
  
[HE hangs up.]  
  
CARVER: Hey, T.  
  
TINO: Who was that?  
  
[THEY go inside and sit down on couches.]  
  
CARVER: Krist. i..na. I think. Something that starts with "Krist"  
  
TINO: Wow, for being someone you love you're not too knowledgeable about her name.  
  
CARVER: Oh that. Well that's just something people say, y'know?  
  
TINO: Riiiiiiight. So, question for ya. You said, "No, I wouldn't do that with any other girl," Do *what* exactly?  
  
[CARVER smiles, devilishly]  
  
TINO: Yeah, the devilish smile only tells me what I already know, I sorta meant specifically.  
  
CARVER: Let's just say. further than YOU.  
  
TINO: Come on!  
  
CARVER: Well. I'd say I'm roundin' third. Have you even been up to bat, yet?  
  
TINO: Now, now, you underestimate Tish.  
  
CARVER: Yeah, I'm sure.  
  
TINO: Hey! We've been going out since the beginning of the school year, which is now going to be over in a couple of months! That's a while, we've done *some* stuff.  
  
CARVER: That may be true, but I've probably done more stuff with *way* more people.  
  
TINO: You know, Carv. I'm not exactly sure that is such a good thing. I mean, I always knew that you went from girl to girl but. I thought you were into them at the time, and that you just. I don't know. had a short attention span. But lately I've gotten the sense that it's not the girl's themselves that you're into.  
  
CARVER: You know T, I sorta resent that.  
  
TINO: Well.  
  
CARVER: Look, don't sweat it, T. We're late for the movie right? Let's go.  
  
(SATURDAY, 6:04 PM, The Bijou Movie Theater, CARVER, TINO, TISH and LOR.)  
  
TINO: So. Carver, shouldn't you be getting popcorn?  
  
CARVER: Um. actually T, I'm not that hungry.  
  
TINO: Yeah? Well. what about the rest of us, huh? Or do you only think of yourself, ALL THE TIME?  
  
CARVER: Uh yeah. okay. I guess I could go get some popcorn.  
  
TINO: Damn right you could, sodas too!  
  
CARVER: Okay. [HE gets up and goes to the concession stand.]  
  
TISH: So, Tino, what was with the entirely conspicuous getting-rid-of- Carver?  
  
TINO: I needed to talk to you guys about something. You know how Carver's always going out with girl after girl?  
  
LOR: Yeah?  
  
TINO: Well. don't you think it's kind of wrong? I mean, he doesn't seem to care much about them. I remember bumping into Moira with Carver after they broke up, she seemed furious with him. I just don't think he's doing the most honorable thing here.  
  
TISH: Did you try talking to him about it?  
  
TINO: Well, yeah, sorta. But I mean, what am I going to say? "Carver, you're acting like a horrible person, and you need to only go out with girls if you like them?"  
  
TISH: Yeah. that's exactly what you should say.  
  
TINO: But he'll be furious.  
  
TISH: He's done bonehead things before, and you've talked to him down, like remember that thing with Gavin and the fight?  
  
LOR: Yeah, that turned out alright, didn't it?  
  
TINO (sighing): Sort of.  
  
TISH: What do you mean, sort of?  
  
TINO: Nothing. just forget about it, he'll be back any minute. I'll think of something.  
  
(SUNDAY, 1:29 PM, TINO sits at his kitchen table reading a Captain Dreadnought comic, TINO'S MOM enters.)  
  
TINO'S MOM: Hi sweetie.  
  
TINO: Oh, hey Mom.  
  
[TINO'S MOM walks towards the phone and dials a number.]  
  
TINO'S MOM: Hello? Oh, hi Moira, is your Dad there?  
  
TINO: WAIT! [HE jumps up and grabs the phone.] Moira, can I talk to you? Oh, this is Tino, by the way.  
  
TINO'S MOM: Tino, what're you-  
  
TINO: SHH! Go!  
  
TINO'S MOM: You can't just tell me to-  
  
TINO: GO!  
  
[TINO'S MOM exits, grumbling.]  
  
TINO: Moira? You remember when you were going out with Carver?  
  
MOIRA: Yeah..? Why? He doesn't want me back does he?:  
  
TINO: Er. I don't think so.  
  
MOIRA: Good, that pig.  
  
TINO: Yeah, that's what I wanted to talk about. Why is he a pig?  
  
MOIRA: Well. we had been going out for a month or two, everything was going fine, and then he starts convincing me we should go further, and I was unsure. But he was going on and on about it's only natural if we care about each other and blah, blah, blah. So we did go further, not too far, but further than I felt perfectly comfortable going, and then BAM, a week later, he dumps me.  
  
TINO: Hmm. I was afraid it was something like this.  
  
MOIRA: And I've heard from my friend Julie that her sister Christy went out for Carver for less time than I did, and went further, it seems to be a pattern with him. I know you're friends with him and everything, but he's really a pig.  
  
TINO: I can't honestly say that I blame you for feeling this way.  
  
MOIRA: Yeah, there's about four other girls he's done this to, too! And I've heard he likes Cheri Montaigne, so I bet she's next.  
  
TINO: Cheri? She's in my creative drawing class, I talk to her all the time.  
  
MOIRA: Well nice doesn't seem to matter to Carver Descartes, all he seems to care is if they're hot and easy.  
  
TINO: Hmm. well thanks Moira.  
  
MOIRA: Not a problem. Did your Mom want to talk to my Dad?  
  
TINO: Oh yeah. (Away from the phone) HEY MOM! OKAY, YOU CAN TALK TO DIXON NOW!  
  
[TINO'S MOM enters and takes the phone from TINO]  
  
TINO'S MOM: Oh, I'm allowed to use my OWN phone now? I'm so honored.  
  
TINO: Don't pout, Mom. It's not becoming.  
  
(MONDAY, TINO'S creative drawing class, 10:38 AM, TINO sits in a chair, drawing. creatively, CHERI MONTAIGNE approaches)  
  
CHERI: Hi Tino.  
  
TINO: Oh. Hey Cheri.  
  
CHERI: So, word around the campfire is Carver Descartes likes me?  
  
TINO: Campfire.?  
  
CHERI: Metaphor.  
  
TINO: Ahh.  
  
CHERI: So, you know him well, think we'd be a good couple?  
  
[TINO hesitates]  
  
TINO: Well. he's one of my best friends in the world.  
  
CHERI: Okay! All I needed to know! Thanks a bunch! So how're things going wi-  
  
TINO: Wait.  
  
CHERI: What?  
  
TINO: I don't think you should go out with him. not if you want to be respected the way you should be.  
  
CHERI: Oh. I've heard rumors about that. I guess I didn't know if that was true. Hey, thanks Tino, it was good of you to come clean, even if he is your friend. Well. I'd better get back to my desk, you know how Mr. Arbuckle gets. Bye.  
  
[As SHE walks away, Grayed Out Background appears.]  
  
TINO: Well. Did I do the right thing? Hard to say. I certainly wasn't a very good friend to Carver, yet I mean, look what he did to Moira and all those other girls? (HE sighs) Oh well. I did what I did, and I hope it was the right decision. Later days. 


	10. Lor

[MONDAY, Health Class, 1:20, TINO and LOR are both in the class, yet not sitting next to each other because it's arranged alphabetically.]  
  
MRS. MARTINEZ: Alright, well, as we've only got about four weeks left of school, so we're starting our last topic in Health Class. Sex.  
  
[The class cheers.]  
  
MRS. MARTINEZ: You know, a lot of this unit has to do with sexually transmitted diseases. Just because something has something remotely to do with sex doesn't mean it's good.  
  
LAIRD: DUDE! SHE SAID "SEX"!  
  
MRS. MARTINEZ: Also, in this unit, we'll talk about pregnancy prevention, and the process of childbirth. First off, does anyone have any questions regarding sex?  
  
[Dozens of hands go up.]  
  
MRS. MARTINEZ: *Appropriate* questions.  
  
[All the hands go down but LAIRD's.]  
  
MRS. MARTINEZ: Any appropriate question or questions not asked by Laird Princeton?  
  
[All hands go down.]  
  
MRS. MARTINEZ: Greeeeeaaaaaaaat.  
  
[LOR half-raises her hand.]  
  
MRS. MARTINEZ: Yes, Lor?  
  
LOR: Well. I was just wondering. let's say you had sex. how soon would you be able to know you're pregnant?  
  
MRS. MARTINEZ: Well. you wouldn't really be able to suspect it until after you realize you haven't had your period, generally by that time your pregnancy will show up on a pregnancy test.  
  
LOR: But. you know. condoms. and stuff. they make it almost impossible to get pregnant.  
  
MRS. MARTINEZ: Oh, I certainly wouldn't say that. They do help though, but it's safer just to practice abstinence.  
  
LOR: And what about STDs and stuff. I mean. Okay, hypothetical situation. but if you're a virgin and who you have sex with is a virgin. you can't get any STDs.  
  
MRS. MARTINEZ: Well. there's two things possibly wrong with that, A) Either you or him might have gotten it from a parent, generally you'll know if you got it from your mother, yet you can't always be sure with the other, and B) The other person might lie to you and say they're a virgin, and they're not.  
  
LOR: Oh, he is, my hypothetical guy.  
  
MRS. MARTINEZ: Well, then theoretically a person should be just fine. [Turns to another student who has their hand raised.] Yes, Linda?  
  
[LOR, looking around, notices TINO staring at her, suspiciously, LOR quickly turns back to the teacher.]  
  
(MONDAY, After Health Class, 1:45, LOR walks out of the classroom, closely followed by TINO.)  
  
TINO: What the hell was that?  
  
LOR: What the hell was what?  
  
TINO: All those questions.  
  
LOR: What? Isn't it good for me to be curious in the topic we're studying?  
  
TINO: You and Thompson, you're not. you're not having sex are you?  
  
LOR: Oh pshh, don't make me laugh. ha ha ha.  
  
TINO: Lor, you know you suck at lying. You are, aren't you?  
  
LOR: Oh Tino relax.  
  
TINO: RELAX?!?! You're barely 15!  
  
LOR: Look, having sex at our age isn't that big of deal. I'm sure Carver has dozens of times.  
  
TINO: No, he hasn't. You think if Carver had had sex he would ever be able to shut up about it?  
  
LOR: Good point. But, Look Tino, Thompson and I have been going out for a long time now.  
  
TINO: You've barely been going out longer than Tish and I have been!  
  
LOR: You and Tish just aren't at the same emotional place, Thompson and I are in love!  
  
TINO: Love, yeah, right.  
  
LOR: It's true. What makes you think we'll break up?  
  
TINO (voice laden with sarcasm): Don't get me wrong Tish, I know most 9th grade relationships end in *marriage*, but still, it's a possibility.  
  
LOR: Most 9th grade relationships also last 2 or 3 months, Thompson and I have been going out for 9 month now. If someone had gotten pregnant the moment we started going out they're baby would be-  
  
TINO: Yeah. I got that. and it's funny you mention pregnancy.  
  
LOR: Ooh. I walked right into that one.  
  
TINO: You seemed awfully worried about the fact that you may be pregnant.  
  
LOR: Well, I should have gotten my period starting on Saturday, and it's Monday now, and I still don't have it. So. I don't know. I might be.  
  
TINO: Did he use a-?  
  
LOR: Yes.  
  
TINO: Were you on the-?  
  
LOR: Yes!  
  
TINO: Did you try-?  
  
LOR: Everything! I'm not sure we even HAD sex!  
  
TINO: How long has this been going on?  
  
LOR: I don't know. a few months ago. But look, Tino, you've got it wrong. Thompson and I are in love, and like he said, 'If two people are in love, there's no reason why they shouldn't prove it.'  
  
TINO: Ohhh, so all this was THOMPSON'S idea? Hmm. he's reminding me of someone.  
  
LOR: If you're talking about Carver.  
  
TINO: Of course I'm talking about Carver! Although Carver's got some class because he hasn't slept with anybody yet.  
  
LOR: It isn't the same thing at all Tino! Carver never goes out with anyone for longer than a month or two, Thompson and I have been going out forever.  
  
TINO: Don't you see? Carver breaks up with girls because he gets bored too quickly, he's jerky yet he doesn't really have that negative of intentions. By staying with you Thompson ensures that he's constantly going to have someone to screw. He's going about this much smarter than Carver is.  
  
LOR: Or maybe he just loves me!  
  
TINO: Yeah. sure. love.  
  
LOR: Look, just because you're upset because you're going out with a prude like Tish.  
  
TINO: Tish isn't a prude, she's just not a slut.  
  
LOR: What did you call me?  
  
TINO: Okay, Lor, I'm sorry, that was uncalled for, I didn't.  
  
LOR (tearing up): Fuck you, Tino! Why don't you just run back to your girlfriend, Little Miss Perfect. Don't waste your time talking to a little slut like me, I don't need you! I have Thompson.  
  
[SHE runs away.]  
  
(TUESDAY, 7:10 AM, Bus Stop. TINO stands waiting, LOR approaches, cautiously)  
  
LOR: .Tino?  
  
[TINO turns quickly.]  
  
TINO: Lor! I'm so sorry for the way I was acting.  
  
LOR: No. it's okay. Look can we talk?  
  
TINO: Of course.  
  
LOR (tearing up): Well. when I got home from school last night, I called Thompson to tell him about my concerns about that I might be pregnant.  
  
TINO: And.?  
  
LOR (sobbing): He said that "It wasn't working out. and that he thought we had taken things to far." And then he just hung up on me! But. but he's the one who pushed us into going that far! He's the one who said if I loved him I should-  
  
[SHE begins to cry to hard for words to get out, TINO rushes up and hugs her.]  
  
TINO: I can't believe him! I'm going to go. I'm going to go and beat him up.  
  
LOR: Tino. I don't think you getting your ass kicked is the solution here. I'm just. I thought we were in love, you know?  
  
TINO: It's okay, Lor. You don't need a scum-bag like him. If you're pregnant you'll still have Tish, Carver and I to depend on. You know we'd be here for you no matter what.  
  
LOR: Well. see. later that night. I got my period. so. I'm okay.  
  
TINO: Oh thank god! That's great news!  
  
LOR: Yeah. You were right though, Tino. About everything, I should have listened to you right away. I'm not going to have sex again for a long time, and when I do, it'll be with someone very special.  
  
[Slowly, THEIR hug breaks.]  
  
TINO: Well that's good. I'm just so sorry you had to go through all this.  
  
LOR: I'll be okay. I'm tough.  
  
[SHE gives a last sob and then gives a brave smile.]  
  
LOR: Can you do me a favor. Can you not tell Carver or Tish about this? It's embarrassing enough that you know about it.  
  
TINO: Of course, no problem. And I hope you know that I'm always someone you can talk to. no matter what. I will always be here for you.  
  
LOR: Yeah, I know. Thanks Tino.  
  
TINO: You just. you need someone who realizes what he has when he has it. Someone who treats you like the great girl you are. You'll find a guy who you love and who you want to be with forever. like me and Tish.  
  
LOR: Yeah. like you. and Tish. Can I have another hug?  
  
[TINO and LOR hug as it slowly fades to black.] 


	11. SEASON FINALE Affection

(TUESDAY, 3:00, The Bell Rings, Kids come charging out of the school, in celebration of. SUMMER! Our four intrepid heroes do the same.)  
  
CARVER and LOR (singing): SCHOOL'S OUT FOR SUMMER!  
  
TINO: It's the longest weekend ever!  
  
TISH: Tino, you say that every time school ends, we get that it's the 'longest weekend ever!'  
  
CARVER: No school, girls in bikinis, plus the Tommy Hugo shoe convention is in July! Man, this is going to be PERFECT!  
  
LOR: Plus I joined a softball team, which is only like the best sport. after basketball. and football. and soccer.  
  
CARVER: So what are we going to do tonight?  
  
TISH: Tino and I have a date. [TISH grins]  
  
LOR: Date schmate, you can do that any old time. let's. let's go bowling!  
  
TINO: No, I'm pretty excited about the date.  
  
CARVER: Hmm. so does that mean I should stay at home and wait for it to be done so you and me can talk about it afterwards, T?  
  
TINO: You bet!  
  
TISH: Tino. what do you tell him?  
  
TINO (quickly): Nothing nothing. I've said that we've held and hands and nothing more.  
  
TISH: Good. Let's get some pizza.  
  
(TUESDAY, 3:49, Itsy-Bitsy-Teeny-Weeny-Yellow-Polka-Dot-Pizza, TINO, CARVER, TISH and LOR all sit.)  
  
PIZZA GUY: Okay, one Sandcastle Special, one large Surfer's Up Pizza, with Sunblock Smoothies, SPF 15. [HE leaves.]  
  
CARVER: So, Tino, Tish, what're you guys doing for your date?  
  
TINO: Well, actually, since my mom's going on a date with Dixon tonight, Tish and I were just going to hang out at my place, Tish rented a movie.  
  
LOR: Let me guess. Chick flick?  
  
TISH: Yes, but it's really romantic.  
  
TINO: Well, romantic I can handle.  
  
[TISH and TINO share a quick kiss.]  
  
CARVER: Aww. Isn't that cute?  
  
LOR (frowning slightly): Yeah..  
  
[TINO's HOUSE, 6:39, TINO sits with CARVER, watching TV, TINO'S MOM is all dolled up, on her way out.]  
  
TINO'S MOM: Alright, I'm off. Be back around 12. You two just going to hang- around here?  
  
TINO: Yeah.  
  
CARVER: Pretty much.  
  
TINO'S MOM: Okay. Oh, by the way, Tino. I know you're having Tish over here because I'm not stupid, so just. don't do anything I wouldn't do.  
  
TINO: Abstinence advice from the woman who gave birth to me at 18?  
  
TINO'S MOM: You know, you're not too old that I can't still beat you up. Alright, well love you.  
  
[SHE leaves.]  
  
CARVER: You know Tino, for a mom, your mom's pretty hot.  
  
TINO: Eew! Dude! Why the hell would you say that?  
  
CARVER: I'm just saying. If you wanted to say my mom was hot or something, I wouldn't freak out.  
  
TINO: Well I wouldn't say that, because your mom's not hot!  
  
[Long pause.]  
  
CARVER: What's wrong with my mom?  
  
TINO: What?  
  
CARVER: I'll have you know that Jacqueline Descartes was a fine looking woman in her day.  
  
TINO: I don't want to have this conversation!  
  
CARVER: Alright, alright.  
  
[Doorbell Rings.]  
  
TINO: Oh my god, that's Tish!  
  
CARVER: Well, answer it then.  
  
[TINO runs towards the door and answers it. TISH is revealed, looking casual yet stunning.]  
  
TINO: Hey! You look great!  
  
TISH: Thanks, I- [Notices CARVER's there.] Oh. hi.  
  
CARVER: So, what're we going to do?  
  
[TINO and TISH stare at him.]  
  
CARVER: Kidding! God, nobody gets me. You two kids have fun.  
  
[HE gets up and leaves.]  
  
TINO: So. um. did you bring the movie?  
  
[TISH pushes him on the couch and gives him a loooong kiss. TINO stops long enough to say.]  
  
TINO: Or. this works too.  
  
(TUESDAY, 9:20 PM, TINO and TISH lay on the couch together, their movie playing.)  
  
TISH: Tino, do you have any idea how much I love you?  
  
TINO: As much of those two people on the screen!  
  
TISH: Wow! Um. no. I don't think I'll ever love someone that much. Wow, she must be really flexible!  
  
[TISH glances at a clock.]  
  
TISH: Oh, it's 9:20, my mom wanted me home at 9:30. We had better go.  
  
TINO: Okay, that's cool, I'll walk you home.  
  
TISH: Alrighty. Let me just go to the bathroom, okay?  
  
TINO: Okay.  
  
[SHE enters the bathroom, TINO dives for the phone and dials a number.]  
  
TINO: Carver?! We got to third base, man! Third base! I think you and I are tied now, so ha! So come over here and I'll give you details, I'm just going to walk Tish home.  
  
[TISH leaves the bathroom.]  
  
TINO: No, I would not be interested to switch to AT&T! Good day to you sir! [Hangs up] Damn telemarketers!  
  
TISH: That was Carver wasn't it?  
  
TINO: Yeah.  
  
TISH: Boys are so stupid. You ready to go?  
  
TINO: Yep. [HE takes her hand and THEY exit.]  
  
[So, now that everybody's left the house you think we'd switch to another scene right? WRONG! A few minutes go by.. TINO'S MOM enters, a complete wreck, tears absolutely flooding her face she sits down on the sofa, and sobs.. Suddenly there's a DING DONG. TINO'S MOM tries to compose herself, to little avail, the doorbell rings again and SHE decides SHE had better open it. It's CARVER.]  
  
CARVER: Oh. um. hey. Ms. Tonitini, I was just- Wait, what's wrong?  
  
TINO'S MOM: Huh? Nothing nothing. Um, I'm not sure if Tino's here or not. [SHE wips away some tears.]  
  
CARVER: Ms. Tonitini, you're crying. what's wrong?  
  
TINO'S MOM: It's nothing, it's just. Dixon and I broke up.  
  
[Saying this aloud brings the realization of it even closer to her, and TINO'S MOM begins sobbing again. CARVER'S a bit unsure of what to do here, so he pats her gently on the back.]  
  
CARVER: Er. there there. Don't worry, I mean you're too good for him anyways.  
  
TINO'S MOM: Thanks Carver, you're sweet.  
  
[Suddenly, inexplicably, TINO'S MOM kisses a shocked CARVER on the mouth, they hold it for a few seconds until they both realize what they're doing and pull away. But it's too late. For who should be standing in the doorway but.]  
  
TINO: WHAT!!!! How. you. why.. AHHHHH!!!!! [TINO runs screaming from the house.]  
  
TO BE CONTINUED. 


End file.
